Your Ad can appear in the pages of ModemNews Magazine.
Whether you run a Commercial BBS or a computer related business. If you are Intel, IBM, or Apple Corporation, we have the space for you. Our rates are amazingly affordable, and we can work out just about anything you have in mind.
For more information contact ModemNews Magazine at our BBS:
203 359.2299
Call us Voice at:
203 969.1183
Or write to us at:
ModemNews Magazine
116 Dean Street Suite B
Stamford, CT 069022
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Just in case anyone was wondering, this is a photograph of our ModemNews Offices! You can see our BBS on the extreme left, then the 386 that produces this magazine. In the corner is our QMS - PS\410 laser printer and next to it to on the right is our MAC SE/30 with the SyQuest Drive and the NEC Mac/Sync 14" color monitor..
There is a file being circulated on BBS's called PKZ201.ZIP or
PKZ201.EXE or similar, and that claims to be version 2.01 of
PKZIP but in fact is a hacked version of PKZIP 1.93 Alpha.
As of the date of this writing, the latest version of PKZIP is
version 1.10.
If you see the files PKZ201.ZIP or PKZ201.EXE on any BBS or
on-line system, please ask the SysOp of that system to remove
the files IMMEDIATELY, and please contact PKWARE to report
where the files were seen.
Of course, because of this PKWARE will never release a version
of PKZIP with the version number 2.01.
If you have any information about the source of PKZ201.EXE or
PKZ201.ZIP, please report it to PKWARE immediately, either:
by Voice at 414-354-8699
by BBS at 414-354-8670
by FAX at 414-354-8559
or by mail:
PKWARE Inc.
9025 N. Deerwood Drive
Brown Deer, WI 53223 USA
Sincerely,
Phil Katz
President, PKWARE Inc.
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We bring this to you as a public service. If you are aware of anything that we should place here, please do not hesitate to let us know about it!
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Dear Readers,
May 1st will bring you the 39th Issue of ModemNews Magazine and it will
be released in the following formats. We would like your comments.
MNEWS39.EXE
Our original DOS ANSI version of ModemNews
Magazine and REQUIRED for all DOS based
NewsStands, and optional for others. This
edition is the only one that can be sent via
RelayNet autosend each month.
MNEWS39.CPT
Our Macintosh edition and REQUIRED for all MAC
based NewsStands. Optional for others, though
we would hope you would not leave your MAC
users out of this.
MNTBK39.ZIP
ModemNews for Windows! Created using Asymetrix
Toolbook v1.5. This edition will need the
Toolbook runtime module v1.5 that can be
downloaded as RTBOOK15.ZIP from our BBS. This
edition is optional for NewsStands, though we
would hope you would start to carry it on a
regular basis in addition to the ANSI edition.
MNTEXT39.ZIP
The TEXT files from the articles that will
appear in the above editions of ModemNews. This
edition is created for those who use computer
platforms that cannot make use of any of the
other editions, such as the Amiga and CoCo.
This is, of course, optional.
We would like to continue bringing you ModemNews in as many different
formats as we can so that we, and you, can reach the widest possible
audience.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------here is a file being circulated on BBS's called PKZ201.ZIP or
PKZ201.EXE or similar, and that claims to be version 2.01 of
PKZIP but in fact is a hacked version of PKZIP 1.93 Alpha.
As of the date of this writing, the latest version of PKZIP is
version 1.10.
If you see the files PKZ201.ZIP or PKZ201.EXE on any BBS or
on-line system, please ask the SysOp of that system to remove
the files IMMEDIATELY, and please contact PKWARE to report
where the files were seen.
Of course, because of this PKWARE will never release a version
of PKZIP with the version number 2.01.
If you have any information about the source of PKZ201.EXE or
PKZ201.ZIP, please report it to PKWARE immediately, either:
by Voice at 414-354-8699
by BBS at 414-354-8670
by FAX at 414-354-8559
or by mail:
PKWARE Inc.
9025 N. Deerwood Drive
Brown Deer, WI 53223 USA
Sincerely,
Phil Katz
President, PKWARE Inc.
-------------------------------
The Staff of ModemNews Magazine
BBS 203 359.2299
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Whatever does not fit anywhere else in this magazine goes in here. It is a catch-all for those things we just cannot identify. What will you find here from month to month? We'll never tell.
Of course...some of your own stuff could be in these pages. 'nuf said......
The following information applies to Microsoft Windows version 3.1.
INFORMATION PROVIDED IN THIS DOCUMENT AND ANY SOFTWARE THAT MAY ACCOMPANY THIS DOCUMENT (collectively referred to as an Application Note) IS PROVIDED "AS IS" WITHOUT WARRANTY OF ANY
KIND, EITHER EXPRESSED OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO THE IMPLIED WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTABILITY AND/OR FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE.
The user assumes the entire risk as to the
accuracy and the use of this Application Note. This Application
Note may be copied and distributed subject to the following
conditions:
1) All text must be copied without modification and
all pages must be included;
2) If software is included, all files on the disk(s) must be copied without modification [the MS-DOS(R) utility DISKCOPY is appropriate for this purpose];
3) All components of this Application Note must be distributed together;
4) This Application Note may not be distributed for profit.
Copyright 1992 Microsoft Corporation. All Rights Reserved.
Microsoft, MS-DOS, and the Microsoft logo are registered
trademarks and Windows is a trademark of Microsoft Corporation.
A general protection (GP) fault in Windows 3.1 (referred to as an
unrecoverable application error [UAE] in Windows 3.0) occurs only in
standard and 386 enhanced mode Windows. A GP fault signifies that
something unexpected has happened within the Windows environment,
usually an improper memory access. In other words, something running
within the Windows environment has made a call to a location in memory
that it did not have access to, potentially overwriting and corrupting
other program code in that area of memory. More specifically, an
application or Windows component might read or write to a memory
location that it has not been preallocated, or memory that it does not
"own." All memory management within Windows is handled by the Windows environment itself, and when applications and Windows components directly access memory, the result is often a GP fault.
Another situation where a GP fault may occur involves the passing of
parameters between applications and the Windows environment. Invalid
parameters affect the performance of Windows and its applications by
forcing an invalid instruction. This is usually the result of an
application's internal program code incorrectly passing specific data
that could not be correctly interpreted for Windows or another Windows
application. The result is often a GP fault.
What Is A System Integrity Violation?
-------------------------------------
The message referring to the violation of system integrity indicates a
general protection violation, or the equivalent of a GP fault that is
caused by an MS-DOS-based application. Similar to the GP fault, the
system integrity violation indicates that an MS-DOS application is
accessing memory that does not belong to that specific application.
Since Windows is managing memory in this situation, the MS-DOS
application's memory access will often corrupt Windows program code or
vital data. The result is an application execution error generated
from Windows reporting that the "application has violated system
integrity due to an invalid general protection fault and will be
terminated." This message can also occur when an MS-DOS-based
application has tried to directly access a system's hardware
component.
How Does Windows 3.1 Handle A GP Fault?
---------------------------------------
A new feature of Windows 3.1 called parameter validation allows
Windows to check for invalid parameters passed between Windows and
applications running in the Windows environment. Windows 3.1 is also
designed to better manage and maintain which applications "own"
specific memory locations and system resources. As a result, Windows
3.1 is more capable of recovering a particular application's RAM
memory and system resources. If you do see a GP fault message while
running Windows 3.1, the message will provide specific information
about which applications and Windows components were running at the
time of the error, and where the error occurred. Depending on the
severity of the GP fault, Windows 3.1 can continue to run the
application that caused the fault, allowing you to save your work
before exiting the application. You can also use Dr. Watson, a program
provided with Windows 3.1, to learn more about the cause of the GP
fault.
Local Restart
-------------
Depending on the severity of a GP fault in Windows 3.1, you can press
CTRL+ALT+DEL to display information concerning the system integrity
and/or information concerning the application that caused the fault.
The severity of a GP fault can be measured by how well an application
functions within the Windows environment after the fault has occurred.
If CTRL+ALT+DEL is pressed when a less severe fault occurs, the
following message appears on the screen:
System has either become busy or has become unstable
- Press any key to return to Windows and wait
- Press CTRL+ALT+DEL again to restart your computer (all unsaved
information will be lost)
If CTRL+ALT+DEL is pressed when a more severe fault occurs, this
message will appear:
This Windows application has stopped responding to the system
- Press ESC to cancel and return to Windows
- Press ENTER to close this application (all unsaved information
will be lost)
- Press CTRL+ALT+DEL again to restart your computer (all unsaved
information will be lost)
Troubleshooting GP Faults
-------------------------
1. If you are running Windows in standard or 386 enhanced mode, check
to see if you are running an application that was designed for an
earlier version (2.x) of Windows.
If an application has not been properly designed to function
correctly under Windows protected mode, it will cause an error. If
an application is designed for Windows versions 2.0, 2.03, 2.1, and
2.11, the application will generate a dialog box when executed that
advises you of this error. Such applications should be run only
under Windows 3.0 real mode, as the dialog box suggests. Since real
mode is not available in Windows 3.1, contact the application's
manufacturer for possible workarounds or to obtain an upgrade of
the software.
2. Check for incompatible terminate-and-stay-resident (TSR) programs
or unsupported device drivers in your CONFIG.SYS or AUTOEXEC.BAT
file.
Temporarily comment out all lines relating to suspect drivers and
TSR programs to bring the system to a minimum configuration for
testing purposes. (To comment out a line, use a text editor such as
Notepad, open the AUTOEXEC.BAT or CONFIG.SYS file, and type "rem"
(without the quotation marks) at the beginning of the line.) If
this eliminates the problem, then the problem was related to one of
the drivers or TSR programs that was commented out. Reinstate the
removed lines one by one until the problem reappears, thus showing
which line was loading the TSR program or driver causing to the
error.
Minimum MS-DOS configuration for Windows versions 3.0 and 3.1:
NOTE: Before modifying these files, make sure you don't
comment out lines pertaining to other hardware-specific
device drivers, such as Stacker, extended memory boards,
third-party disk partitioning programs, and so on.
If you do not know the purpose of a line in your CONFIG.SYS
or AUTOEXEC.BAT file, leave that line as is.
3. Try different machine switches for the HIMEM.SYS device driver in
your CONFIG.SYS file.
HIMEM.SYS is used to access the high memory area (HMA), which is
the first 64K of extended memory (1024K-1088K). HIMEM.SYS is also
the default device driver Windows uses to access extended memory in
standard and 386 enhanced modes. HIMEM.SYS accesses the HMA through the A20 line of memory, and uses what are known as A20 "handlers" to do this. The method used to access the HMA depends on the system, so the A20 handler needed for this access varies as well.
HIMEM.SYS follows a certain routine at load time to determine which
A20 handler is appropriate for your machine. Unfortunately, some
nonstandard machines do not respond to the tests that HIMEM.SYS
administers during its routine, which can result in the wrong A20
handler being selected. Using the incorrect A20 handler can result
in everything from the machine stopping when HIMEM.SYS loads to
erratic Windows performance. The /MACHINE switch is used to gain
control of the A20 line by forcing HIMEM.SYS to use a particular
handler. The handler numbers range from 1-16, and 18. For most 100-
percent-compatible machines, one of the compatible /M:1, /M:11,
/M:12, and /M:13 A20 handler switches will work. Although other
switches are intended for use with certain hardware, one of these
other switches may be required for proper operation on certain
machines if the standard switches do not work. It is recommended
that you check your most current MS-DOS or Windows manual for more
information about using the /MACHINE switch with HIMEM.SYS. An
example of this statement in the CONFIG.SYS file is as follows:
device=c:[\path]\himem.sys /machine:1
-or-
device=c:[\path]\himem.sys /m:1
NOTE: When you are testing to see which A20 handler is
appropriate, make sure you have a system (startup) MS-DOS disk
with an ASCII text editor (such as MS-DOS Edit or Edlin), because
some A20 handlers will cause your machine to stop.
4. Check to see if an incorrect machine and/or network was
selected while installing Windows.
Some machines and networks require you to override the default
detection made by Windows Setup and make a specific selection. If
the correct selection is not made, Windows will not operate
correctly, or a GP fault may occur.
Machines that must be specifically selected in Windows Setup
7. Your system may have a page-mapping conflict in 386 enhanced
mode.
Page-mapping conflicts occur only in 386 enhanced mode Windows,
most frequently in Windows 3.0. Windows 3.0 often will not see the
page frame or upper memory block mapping performed by 386 expanded
memory managers (EMMs) and will map over those memory locations.
Windows 3.1 inherits the upper memory area (UMA) mapping
information from the EMM, so it will not map over memory locations
used by the EMM. However, both Windows 3.0 and 3.1 can experience
page-mapping conflicts with other devices or applications that use
the UMA. Test the problem under standard mode by running Windows
with the /s switch from the command prompt (type "win /s" [without
the quotation marks]).
If the problem does not occur in standard mode, it may be a page-
mapping conflict in the adapter segment area of memory (between
640K and 1 MB). Edit the SYSTEM.INI file with Notepad or SysEdit
and insert the following line in the [386Enh] section:
EMMExclude=A000-EFFF (This line is not case sensitive.)
NOTE: Because Windows 3.1 inherits its mapping information from
any EMM loaded before Windows, it is important to either disable
the EMM or exclude the same memory range (as shown above) with the
EMM itself. Mapping information inherited from the EMM will
override any entries in the SYSTEM.INI file.
Performing the step described above will exclude the entire
adapter segment from mapping. If making this change solves the
problem, you may want to determine the position of all hardware
adapters in the adapter segment and exclude them specifically,
rather than excluding the entire region. Multiple EMMExclude lines
can be used if necessary. If you are using a Micro Channel
Architecture (MCA) bus machine such as an IBM PS/2, you can
determine the adapter location by restarting with the machine's
reference disk. If you are using an Industry Standard Architecture
(ISA) bus machine, consult your adapter documentation and/or your
manufacturer's technical support service for information on the
memory locations the bus machine uses. You will not want to leave
the entire range excluded, because Windows will not be able to use
any of the memory addresses in that range to set up such things as
expanded memory for MS-DOS applications.
WINDOWS 3.1 ONLY: Use the command "win /3 /d:x" (without the
quotation marks) to load Windows from the command prompt. The /d:x
switch excludes the memory range A000-EFFF from mapping, similar to
the statement EMMExclude=A000-EFFF in the [386Enh] section of the
SYSTEM.INI file. However, as with the EMMExclude= statement, this
switch will be overridden by any settings inherited from an external
EMM. It is best to disable such EMMs if possible.
8. Check the MS-DOS version you are running.
A machine should have the proper MS-DOS version for its hardware
type. Original equipment manufacturer (OEM) versions of MS-DOS such
as COMPAQ MS-DOS or IBM PC-DOS should be used only on their
respective OEM hardware platforms (that is, COMPAQ MS-DOS only on
Compaq machines, IBM PC-DOS only on IBM machines).
9. If you have a permanent swap file set up in Windows, it may be
corrupted.
The integrity of a permanent swap file is important if these errors
continue. If the location of the swap file contains bad sectors, an
error can occur. Windows will assume the data area of the swap file
is valid. However, if code is swapped to a corrupt area, the data
will also be corrupted. Change the swap file to a temporary swap
file and restart the machine after first turning the computer
completely off. It may also be necessary to run a disk
optimization/defragmentation utility to improve the performance of
the Windows swap file.
10. Reinstall the software causing the GP fault.
If the GP fault can be tracked to a specific application, you may
need to reinstall that software. The files on disk may have become
corrupted or damaged or the application may not be properly
installed. You may also have to reinstall Windows. If the
SYSTEM.INI or WIN.INI file has been modified with poor results, a
new installation of Windows will ensure a clean, unaltered Windows
configuration.
If all the above troubleshooting techniques have been exhausted and
the GP faults or UAEs still occur, you may have to contact your
hardware/software supplier for more information.
ation.
ation.
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WORKING WITH YOUR DREAMS
by
Dr. D
ju Vu
What to do with all those dreams you've been recording!
Volumes of information has been written on the topic of dream work. One of the oldest existing documents was a dream interpretation book written by the priests of Horus 4,000 years ago. Since then books on dream
interpretation have been written in every language by everything from
psychiatrists to charlatans. Summarizing all of this in an article for
ModemNews is, of course, impossible. Let me, instead, guide you in your
search for resources to help you in your dream work.
ONLINE ASSISTANCE. Most major BBS networks contain at least one, often more, echos designed for dream exploration. Tapping into one is as simple as finding a BBS that carries such a sub board. Ask your favorite networked sysop for assistance in directing you.
DREAM GROUPS. Most major metropolitan areas have dream workshops available. If you're unsuccessful in locating such a group, contact The Association for the Study of Dreams (P.O. Box 1600 Vienna, Va. 22183 703-242-8888)
THERAPISTS. Professionals can be costly, and those proficient enough in
dream exploration to help you with dream work can be difficult to find.
Let your fingers do the walking and call around in your area. Any good
therapist will be willing to talk with you over the telephone to see if
he/she is able to assist you BEFORE you make an appointment for a session.
BOOKS. Educate yourself. As we step out of the dark ages of mental health we also realize that dreams are not just random imagery our subconscious minds throw out to make sleeping more interesting. The number of written resources on the subject of dreaming is growing with this knowledge.
BUT BEWARE: there are a lot of authors who profess that a dream dictionary is all that is needed to define a dream. Not so. Look for books that provide guidelines and education rather than pat interpretations.
ONLY YOU CAN INTERPRET YOUR OWN DREAMS FOR THEY ARE *YOUR* DREAMS.
Suggested reading:
Boss, Medard. _I_Dreamed_Last_Night_, Translated by S. Conway. New York:
Gardner Press, 1977. Focuses on the dreamer's experience of the dream rather than going into a lot of psychoanalytical babble.
Brook, Stephen. _The_Oxford_Book_of_Dreams_. Oxford, UK: Oxford University
Press, 1983. A collection of ideas and quotes by famous people on the
subject of dreams.
Delaney, Gayle. _Breakthrough_Dreaming_. New York: Bantam Books, 1991.
Great overall dream book for those new to dream work by the founder
of the Association for the Study of Dreams.
Delaney, Gayle. _Living_Your_Dreams (rev. ed.). San Francisco: Harper
& Row, 1988. Focuses in detail on dream incubation and problem-solving through dreams. (Dr. Gayle Delaney is one of my favorite dream authors.)
Evans, Christopher. _Landscapes_of_the_Night:__How_and_Why_We_Dream_. New
York: Viking Press, 1983. Interesting comparison of the dreaming
brain to a computer.
Faraday, Ann. _The_Dream_Game_. New York: Harper & Row, 1974. Very useful book that goes into specific techniques for dream work.
Hartman, Ernest. _The_Nightmare_. New York: Basic Books, 1984. Written by the current president of the Association for the Study of Dreams, this book is based on his years of research on nightmares.
Krippner, Stanley and Joseph Dillard. _Dream_Working:__How_to_Use_Your_
1988. Provides a practical approach to using your dreams to
problem-solve.
Ullman, Montague, and Nan Zimmerman. _Working_With_Dreams_. New York:
Delacorte Press, 1979. Written by mental health professionals for
mental health professionals, this infomative book can be of use to
anyone interested in dream groups.
Well, that should get you started.
Sleep Hygeine
Here are some guidelines for promoting restful sleep. Some people can break any rule of sleep hygiene and still sleep soundly. Insomniacs or people plagued by sleep disturbances may find it helpful to follow one or more of the following rules.
1) Maintain regular arousal times. This is probably the most important rule for regular sleep. Awakening at the same time daily synchronizes our internal clocks daily. Each day our circadian cycle deviates from the 24-hour light-dark cycle causing us to lose about an hour a day. The act of waking up and getting out of bed is a strong enough biological stimulus to 'reset' our clocks. This is much more effective than maintaining a set bedtime. Going to bed when one is not sleepy will usually lead to frustration and will not synchronize the internal rhythm.
2) Sleep as much as needed to feel refreshed and healthy during the following day *BUT NOT MORE*. Insomniacs seem to stay in bed too long, trying to squeeze the last drop of sleep out of each night. Curtailing time spent in bed seems to solidify sleep while dragging it out seems to result in shallow, fragmented sleep.
3) Don't worry or brood in bed. Trying hard to sleep prevents sleep. A good rule of thumb: if you haven't fallen asleep in 15-20 minutes, get out of bed for a short time, do something relaxing or boring for 15-20 minutes ( or until you feel sleepy ) then try again. Classical conditioning theory predicts that the longer you stay in bed awake, the more likely you are to associate the bed with staying awake.
4) Don't use the bed for anything besides sleep. (let me qualify this one by adding "and sex") The reason, once more, is that you don't want to become conditioned to thinking of the bed as a place where you stay awake. If you like to read or watch TV before going to sleep, or while adhering to rule #3, do it in a chair beside the bed or in another room.
5) Avoid alcohol at bedtime. Although alcohol tends to make people feel
drowsy, even small amounts can cause fragmented and poor-quality sleep.
6) Avoid caffeine and tobacco. Some insomniacs complain that they can't sleep unless they have a cup of coffee and a cigarette. These people are addicted to nicotine and caffeine and the initial bedtime withdrawl of these substances results in tension and agitation. These people find that they sleep much better once they become abstinent and have overcome withdrawl.
7) Avoid occasional loud noises. Aircraft flyovers or loud vehicles should be avoided. Use steady white noise such as an airconditioner or fan. Studies have shown that people do not accustom themselves to occasional loud noises even if they do not remember them in the morning.
8) Keep the room temperature comfortable. The body loses its ability to
tightly regulate body teperature during REM sleep. Therefore the room should not be excessively hot or cold.
9) Don't go to sleep hungry. Hunger can disturb sleep. A LIGHT bedtime snack can help. A glass of milk at bedtime is more than an old wives' tale.
10) Exercise regularly. A physically healthy body sleeps better and deeper than an unfit body. However try to avoid strenuous physical activity within about 2 hours of the time you expect to fall asleep.
11) Keep busy, even after a sleepless night. The more one is sleep-deprived the more one should seek large-body activities (walking, cleaning house, yard work) as opposed to small muscle activities (needlepoint, drawing, etc.) or taxing mental work.
12) Adjust naps. Some people benefit from a mid-day nap. Others feel groggy and nonfunctional after naps and sleep more poorly on that night. This last group should avoid naps.
(Sleep Hygiene Guidelines, adapted from Hauri, 1981)
Our sleep needs are highly individualistic. Find just the right combination
of factors (wake time, exercise, hours asleep, environment, etc) for you
and ...
SLEEP WELL! DREAM OF PEACE!
"These dreams go on when I close my eyes. Every second of the night
I live another life." -- Heart --
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&f&
CONFESSIONS OF A RECOVERING CHRISTMASAHOLIC
By Del Freeman
(A Ruby Begonia Offering)
On New Year's Eve, 1987, I announced my abdication from the
throne. I, who was once the Queen of Christmas, (and would have been
King except for certain anatomical differences), turned in my
crown, laid down my scepter and gave it up.
I don't "do" Christmas at my house anymore. I don't not do
it because of any alternative religious beliefs or high moral
commitment to stamping out the suffering of mankind, either. I
don't do it because of my disease.
It's not even a self-respecting disease, either. I call it
the "I want it all, I want it now, and I want it perfect
Syndrome." Back when I did have Christmas, I didn't really have
IT so much as IT had me. In fact, every year of my adult life up
until 1986, Christmas snatched me up somewhere along about mid-
October, enveloped me in its all-pervasive mystique, and wrestled
me to the ground. It obsessed me, consumed me, washed me, rinsed
me, and hung me out to dry until somewhere along about spring,
when watching the hummingbirds soothed me back to a state of near
sanity.
There are those people who can deal with Christmas and I
say, go for it. There are even those who can enjoy it, and I'm
happy for them. For me, I can't eat one potato chip, I can't wait
long enough to get anything out of lay-away, and I can't do
Christmas. Period. At least I know my limitations. If there were
a Christmasaholic anonymous, I'd be a charter member.
Christmas was traditionally heralded by co-workers selling
cards, ornaments and cheese and sausage. With the fever upon me,
I'd buy one of each from everyone. We were always the only family
in the neighborhood still eating cheese and sausage in August.
Like all good addicts, I never knew I had an elf on my back.
Christmas meant buying the biggest tree I could cram into my
living room and then decorating it to perfection. Unfortunately,
I persisted year after year in hanging the candy canes behind the
angel hair because that was the way it was done. (This is the
First Rule of Christmas: The angel hair goes on last.)
My children, The Evil Demons of Christmas, would then cram
little fingers into the swirls of angel hair and sneak candy
canes until they were gone, and the angel hair hung in sad,
bedraggled little clumps and wisps. No amount of pleading,
screaming, threatening or hysterical weeping would dissuade them.
Christmas was always ruined for me because no one ever said, "My,
what a beautiful tree." When forced to comment, they said things
like, "Interesting effect," while trying to divert my attention
somewhere else, or "Hmmmm . . .". This, to a woman who'd spent
hours agonizing over where to hang the miniature Santa.
Along with the tree came the ivy, which had to be draped
just so. No mirror to hang it on? Simple, buy a mirror. I once
contemplated building a mantle - no fireplace, just a mantle. The
candles in the windows, the lights all over the house and yard,
the wreath on the door - all had to be perfectly positioned,
usually Thanksgiving afternoon. The Evil Demons took great
delight in lighting the candles and letting them burn to nubbins,
thus violating the Sixth Rule of Christmas: Candles must not be
lit until Christmas Eve. The Evil Demons had no respect for the
Rules of Christmas, (and damn little respect for anything else!).
Thanksgiving night always found me hustling boxes from the
garage, racing frantically, panting and making those little
mewling noises, listening to Johnny Mathis sing about roasting
chestnuts, and knowing I'd be unable to sleep until it was all
done to the last detail. (This is the Second Rule of Christmas:
Christmas carols must be played continuously from Thanksgiving
Eve until the Christmas party ends. They must never, ever be
played one minute past midnight on December 25th.)
The presents were another phase of the torture. Whatever
came inside the box must be exactly right. Sometimes I got it
wrapped and placed under the tree before I realized it wasn't
exactly right, and that necessitated buying a second present
because, once placed, a package could not be removed. (I forget
which number this Rule is, but it is.)
Then I had to buy a second present for everyone else, to
make it even. (Christmas Rule number Four: Everyone must get the
same number of presents, precisely determined by a mathematical
formula taking into consideration cost and size.) There were only
about 30 relatives and friends who showed up at my house Christmas
mornings, so it not only got expensive, the living room got pretty
crowded.
No matter how carefully I planned, though, the last minute
invariable called for just one more something. In 20 years of doing
Christmas, I never once failed to be submerged in that crowd of
last minute pushing, shoving, snarling shoppers fighting to buy
the last chipped vase, buttonless blouse, tenny-runners with the
shoelace missing.
You may even remember me. I was the one in the protective
gear, spiked heel held ominously aloft to ward off the less wily
shopper, credit cards cocked and ready in a quick-draw holster at
my waist, wearing a sweat shirt emblazoned with my motto,
"Nothing in Moderation!"
The wrapping, too, was an exercise in neuroses. The packages
each had to be distinctive - no two bows alike, different paper,
etc. I've been known to get up in the middle of the night to
re-wrap a defective package. I have literally "come to" at 3:00
a.m., sitting in the middle of the floor humming Jingle
Bells, eyes glazed and unfocused, little pieces of scotch tape
aligned along the edge of the coffee table, re-wrapping a package
so that I could fold its contents in tissue paper.
The packages had to be placed exactly so under the tree,
too. (This is the Third Rule of Christmas: Packages must be
positioned in a symmetrical pattern, so as to be aesthetically
pleasing to the eye.) I could spot a millimeter's repositioning
at 50 yards. The Evil Demons liked to move things around just so
they could watch me clutch my chest and gasp.
Then, there had to be a buffet with at least two kinds of
meat, rolls, condiments and dessert, and, of course, egg nog, not
to be touched until the last guest arrived. The Evil Demons
always stuck their fingers in the middle of the rolls and used
the same knife for the mustard and the mayonnaise. The eldest
liked to tell the unsuspecting guest that the youngest had spit
in the egg nog, but only after the refills were served.
Once the big day arrived, I played hostess to a houseful of
people who ate my food, ripped open the packages and threw
wrapping paper and ribbon all over my living room, made that
noncommittal "Hmmmm" comment about my tree, and sometimes had
words, or even came to blows before the whole fiasco was over.
Somebody, (usually the same somebody - and no, it wasn't me),
would invariably throw up on the rug or urinate in the garage,
and Christmas was once again behind me.
Then came the massive clean-up, take down, repack, put away
and haul off, which left me weak and nauseous, certain I was a
masochist, troubled because I liked it, craved it, fed on it like
piranha on raw meat.
The last year I engaged in this self-inflicted punishment
was 1986. We had just moved to the country and lived in a small,
single-wide trailer. In a fit of rural obsession, we bought baby
ducks.
Dramatically phasing down, I opted for a potted tree with a
single string of tiny, blinking lights. I pared the guest list
down to two, bought a package of stick-on bows and wrapped the
few packages in identical paper. I cooked one lone turkey, and
called it done.
Fate, in its own inimitable way, acknowledged my concession
to reason by raining from Halloween until Christmas morning. We
discovered we lived in a flood zone, the front yard turned into
something like muddy super glue that sucked your shoes off, and
the baby ducks had to spend Christmas in the living room because
it was so cold and wet outside.
Now, baby ducks have their own distinct scent. It's a
hard thing to describe, but I imagine it must be reminiscent
of wet bear fur. Nobody ate a whole hell of a lot of turkey,
I'll tell you that much.
After Christmas, we threw out the lights and planted the
potted tree in the front yard. It promptly died, and I recognized
a sign from heaven and went straight. An ignominious end to an
otherwise illustrious reign.
Now, Christmas comes and goes, like always, but I don't play
anymore. I don't put up and I don't take down, I don't wrap or
unwrap, and I almost never hyperventilate in a department store,
even on Christmas Eve. Life is good.
And when I am tempted, I close my eyes and recall the
redolent aroma I shall forevermore associate with cooked turkey.
I no longer observe Christmas, but I have my memories!
END
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B I 2
Information for Software Authors and Software Companies
Have you written a software title that you think should be reviewed in an issue ModemNews Magazine? We think you might have! It does not take too much to get us to take a look at it, just send it our way, either to our BBS or to our mailing address and we will consider it for evaluation and review.
It should be of general use in nature (meaning that it should be useable by a lot of people). It can be a spreadsheet, a CD-ROM "title", a word processor, a menu program, a screen display, a paint program, a utility to help you plant your garden or that just might make people's lives easier.
It does not really matter all that much. There is so much good software out there that we feel some of it just needs a boost in the right direction to get it rolling and a review in ModemNews might just help.
We will warn you though, there just is not enough space in this publication to "do it all" (as they say), but we try to get to as much as we possibly can.
So if you are an author of Shareware or Freeware, be brave! If you are a company that regularly publishes commercial software we're here for you too.
You can send us your submissions to our BBS:
ModemNews EXPRESS!
203 359.2299 (N-8-1)
or to our current mailing address:
116 Dean Street
Suite B
Stamford, CT 06902
We are here for you!
.ed.re for you!
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DTK Bare Bones Machines Case/Power Supply/Motherboard
Tech 1635 286 16mhz DX Desktop with 1 meg of RAM
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Peer 1630-C 386 16mhz SX Desktop with 2 meg of RAM
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Peer 2030-C 386 20mhz SX Desktop with 2 meg of RAM
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Peer 2060-C 386 20mhz SX Slimline with 2 meg of RAM
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Keen 2531D 386 25mhz DX Desktop with 4 meg of RAM
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Keen 2561D 386 25mhz DX Slimline with 4 meg of RAM
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Keen 4000 386 40mhz DX Tower with 4 meg of RAM
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Call for our other CUSTOM configurations. We offer 110's of products!
ANYTHING you are looking for related to computers we can do!
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Public Domain? Freeware? Are you using a utility program that you just cannot live without? Have you written or read a good book lately? Heard the greatest album?
This is the place to let us know about it! Either send us the file for review, or send us the review for publication here, and in our Macintosh and DOS ANSI version of ModemNews Magazine.
ModemNews Magazine.
zine.
ModemNews EXPRESS
203 359.2299999999999999999
reviewpop
Some Shareare reviews in this section come to us courtesy of
Setup: Nautilus CD-ROM Magazine comes with its own install
program that puts the new v1.5 Toolbook Runtime module
onto your hard disk (the same is needed to run the new
ModemNews for Windows). Even with this the control files
will take up about a meg and a half of hard drive space,
nothing compared to the 400 or so meg that come on the CD.
Ease of Use: Click here, click there and if you've got MME for Windows
v1.0, and a midi compatible sound card, you get hi-res
graphics and sound. Very nice.
Features: Without sounding too much like an ad for Metatec, Nautilus
has it all. The sampler disk contains clips from Windham Hill
recordings with graphics to match. It has DOS Shareware
and sample applications. The demo came with some pretty neat
Demos from mainstream software publishers. The best was from
Ami Pro. Worth the price of the demo disk alone!
Okay, so you've got 400 meg of disk space to play with! What
you can't do is get bored. There is so much for every taste,
every user and at every level. Like music? Play! Like games?
Play some more. Like to see what's new out there on CD-ROM?
Check out the CD-ROM directory.
You want interviews? they got 'em. You want commentary? hey,
ModemNews isn't the only place. Nautilus has its share.
Our very favorite feature about this hot new magazine is its
automatic communication feature called "Link". From nearly
anywhere in the magazine you can stop to write a note to
the Nautilus team, and at the end of your reading session
the magazine will take you automatically into the "Link"
function, call Metatec and upload your messages. Nice. Frankly,
we at ModemNews are jealous!
Drawbacks: The major drawback to Nautilus Magazine is not the price,
It is the limited availablity of the necessary drivers for
Windows Multi-Media, but this should be taken care of under Windows 3.1 when it is released on April 6th. Still, you will need a good quality sound card and a Midi connection to get the full benefits of what Nautilus has to offer.
Some time ago we bought a Sony CD-ROM player that did not
come with Multi Media Extensions for Windows, and our
Ad-Lib card was too old. Microsoft will not distribute the
extensions, Sony will sometime in the future, and the Ad-Lib
card must first go through an upgrade. So we have this great
"toy" yet we can only appreciate a small part of it.
Once Windows 3.1 is released and Ad-Lib gets our new card
we will go back to enjoy what we missed of Nautilus the
first time around. We can't wait!
Our hats are off to Metatec for the Nautilus concept. We
would certainly like to think they got the idea from us,
but not this time. Nautilus is an original, and it's good.:
Reviews
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NEWS IN YER FACE
More from Randall Ainsworth!
Intel's CEO Andrew Grove recently referred to AMD's share of
the 386 market as "mice *!#@".
---------------
With Apple picking its distribution partners, look for one of
them to be a major retailer with the motto of "Where America
Shops."
---------------
During Intel's recent announcement for their clock doubler
chips, a short film drew audience hisses when Bill Gates appeared
in the film.
---------------
Borland will soon introduce a $69.95 videotape aimed at mass
marketers called Learn Programming Today.
---------------
Microsoft is in the process of setting up toll-free hot-line
support in at least four Latin American countries where it has
subsidiaries.
---------------
This June, Compaq will be introducing a line of low-end
systems, but don't expect to see a non-Intel processor. Big boy
Intel has allegedly given Compaq irresistible pricing to make sure
they keep this big customer.
There will be two product lines; desktop PC's that are
different from their DeskPro line and notebook computers that look
different than their LTE line. The will not have a modular design
like the PS/1. They will use 1024x768 VGA adapters from Western
Digital.
Both lines will feature preloaded software like Windows 3.1
and several popular applications.
---------------
Dealers are angry at Microsoft's current DOS 5 promotion.
Major newspapers have carried advertisements for the DOS 5 package
at $49.95. With already low profits, dealers are not pleased.
Some have speculated that the reason for the promotion is that
Microsoft is clearing out inventory in anticipation of a DOS 5.1
release. A Microsoft spokesman said "There is no plan to introduce
DOS 5.1. We're not trying to clear out inventory."
Since July, 2.7 million users have bought the DOS 5 Upgrade
package.
---------------
Look for the cost of 3.5 disks to go up. Consumers are buying
them up at an astonishing rate and manufacturers have been caught
off-guard. The shortage is expected to last for 4-6 months.
Ingram Micro (a large software/hardware distributor) has seen a
200% growth in sales of 3.5 disks from the first quarter of 1991
through February of 1992.
---------------
Apple plans to enhance their new System 7 operating system to
allow future migration to RISC hardware platforms. This would put
Apple in the client/server market and give integrators new options.
---------------
Intel has announced LANProtect, a network anti-virus
application that stems from a joint effort with Trend Micro
Devices. The product is a NetWare Loadable Module that resides on
a server and continuously scans incoming and outgoing files using
a proprietary prescan protocol stack to detect any virus activity.
---------------
Be careful about mixing the Norton Speed Disk defragmentation
utility with DR DOS SuperStor. Although DR DOS' documentation
warns against using third-party optimizers, I've heard reports
where Speed Disk trashed an entire disk leaving only unmovable
files and unloadable programs.
---------------
Beta testers for Borland have been wringing their hands
recently because Borland has been promising Paradox for Windows for
weeks, and no disks yet. Philippe has promised they'll be out by
the end of March.
---------------
Silicon Graphics announced an agreement to acquire Mips
Computer Systems (big RISC maker). This is a $400 million deal
which increases concerns about Mips' ability to keep its design
open as well as whether Silicon Graphics will be seen as having an
unfair advantage in the ACE consortium. ACE members Compaq,
Digital Equipment, and Microsoft have endorsed the deal.
This deal gives Silicon Graphics access to Mips' OEMs and
RISC-based workstations which are defined by ACE specifications.
This also gives Silicon Graphics a way out of its traditional
scientific and technical market and into the growing client/server
market.
---------------
DISCLAIMER
RAndY's RumOR RaG is published on a monthly basis by AINSWORTH
COMPUTER SERVICES and is available on various BBS's, GEnie, and
America Online as well as in ModemNews.
In case anyone cares, RAndY's RumOR RaG is produced on a DTK
386-33 with 16 megs of memory, Cyrix Fasmath co-processor, ATI VGA
Wonder+ card (1 MB), 105 MB Toshiba IDE hard drive, Teac 1.2 MB,
360K, and 1.44 MB floppies, Sceptre SVGA display, Microsoft mouse,
WordPerfect for Windows and transmitted through a US Robotics HST
Dual Standard modem.
Opinions expressed are those of the author. Comments should
be addressed to Ainsworth Computer Services on GEnie, America
Online, phone, analog mail, or whatever method makes you feel good.
AINSWORTH COMPUTER SERVICES
605 W. Wishkah
Aberdeen, WA 98520-6031
(206) 533-6647
GEnie Address: RAG
America Online: RumOR RaGG
Roundabout!
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MODEM USA
a book review
by
Allen Roberts
I'm the sysop of UFOria BBS (1-703-803-6420, I couldn't resist the
plug), and one of my callers recently wrote a book called "MODEM USA".
I found it so valuable that I wanted to share my thoughts about it with
ModemNews Magazine. To put it simply, MODEM USA is a book that no
self-respecting BBSer ought to be without.
MODEM USA provides listings and information on BBSes located
around the country. Some of you out there might ask "What's so special
about that? I can get all kinds of BBS telephone numbers from the
USBBS list and THELIST!". To that I respond, you are right. But MODEM
USA provides you with something that none of those lists do - a short
paragraph (in most cases) describing what the BBS is about, who it is
for, the types of files available for download, and some of the
echoconferences it supports. This makes it a much more useful tool
than a long BBS list which ONLY has BBS names and telephone numbers.
In short, MODEM USA provides you, the BBS caller, with the critical
information you need when deciding whether to call that BBS located on
the other side of the country.
There are many ways in which MODEM USA will prove helpful to you.
First, it will of course save you long distance telephone charges as
you call around the country looking for that one BBS with the
information you are seeking. But even more than that, MODEM USA will
help you find the answers to your questions much more quickly than by
making random BBS calls.
For example, if you wanted to find physicians or other medical
specialists to answer your questions, MODEM USA contains a state by
state breakdown of medical and health information BBSes. If you are
job hunting, MODEM USA can direct you to BBSes in each state where job
announcements from business, government, schools, and other
organizations are posted. Or if you desire news, databases,
conferences, and software available from the government, MODEM USA
provides information on numerous government-run BBSes. Regardless of
your interests, MODEM USA can direct you to BBSes which will satisfy
your yearnings for music, science, environmental, real estate,
genealogy, police, medical, library, gardening, writing, and
government-oriented files and conferences. AND MUCH MORE!
For the new BBS user, MODEM USA is nothing less than a fountain of
previously unimagined information. For the experienced BBS caller, it
is a valuable reference source for BBSes around the country. I own a
copy and recommend it to everyone out there!
MODEM USA contains 192 pages of useful information and sells for
$16.95 (add $3 for shipping and handling). You can order this book by
sending your check to:
Allium Press
P.O. Box 5752-5030
Takoma Park, MD 20913-5752
...and tell them you heard about it in ModemNews Magazine!
Reviews
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SOUND BLASTER PRO REVIEW/CRITIC
Marcel Oats
Preamble
In early August 1991, I read about a Card from Creative Labs called the
Sound Blaster Professional or SB-Pro. Great! I couldn't wait for it
to come to New Zealand. Finally it did; and on the 22nd of October
1991, I made my purchase.
For around nine months I'd previously had the Standard Sound Blaster
Card (V1.51) with the CMS support so I feel I know a lot about the
System in General. I am totally blind; hence my great interest in
sampling and SB's Musical Capabilities.
Installation
The Hardware consists of a 16-bit Card, (an eight-bit Version is
available?) an Audio Cable and a Midi Box and Cabling. The Midi Box is
not really for the serious user; as it fails to perform Bidirectional
Transfers.
The Audio Cable consists of a Stereo 3.5 MM pin to plug into the Card's
Audio Output, with two RCA type Connectors for connection to your
Stereo.
The SB Pro also has an SCSI Interface for a CD Rom, that conforms to
the Microsoft CD Rom Extentions standard.
Watch this: if you turn on the Computer and if your Stereo/Amp is up
too loud, you could be at risk of causing harm to your System, as the
Card's Electronics make a loud thump. The Mic Circuit now has a
Compressor built-in; a good Idea.
I installed the Software (they use Lh-Arc to compress all the stuff
now) and it ran! Unfortunately, the FM Music Output Test is just the
same as the old Card; in fact there are no new .CMF files at all.
The "Voice output" test is now different. It consists of the sound of
a Stream going from left to right.
After moving everything into my Audio Subdirectory, I started playing.
I ended up deleting their Multi-media Demo, as it required VGA.
There's a CD-Rom Player Programme; which I shell also delete. I
haven't deleted the Parrot yet.
Smooth Talker is the same; that's as good as ever! I'm really glad
that Firstbyte have licensed that Programme out. They're using v3.5 of
the Driver, but now Creative Labs have added an "echo" Programme which
is meant to give SB Talker an Echo. This works; allowing you to
specify the number of Milliseconds wide the Delay effect should be.
Playcmf is the same as I mentioned. The FM Driver will slow down when
confronted with complex or fast events.
There are now two Programmes, SBP-Set and SBP-Mix, for setting the
volume/placing of each part of the Card. The Mix Programme is a TSR,
that lets you control things like the FM Channel, Dac Volume, something
called the DAC Test (on or off) and the Line and Mic Volumes. The
SBFMDRV Programme, v1.30, now (obviously) accommodates the Stereo.
The FM Organ has now been slightly enhanced (note the word _slightly_)
and now has the sounds placed in Stereo. The Apegio moves across the
stereo Spread. Otherwise, FM Organ has had its Name changed to
"Pro-organ," and sounds the same.
There'll be no more Data Packing from me, Silence Encoding from me
either, Menu Driven Voxkit style Interface for me, or the new features
apparently available in the sampling system: Vedit2 (as it is now
called) requires a damn EGA Card at a minimum! Oh well; there's always
the command-line Programmes "VREC" and "VPLAY." Note: when Screen
Reading software is confronted with a Graphics mode, all us blindies
get is garbage; as the software relys on the ascii contents of screen
Memory.
The First Sample
After determining the best settings to use, finding out which Socket
was the Mic socket, I made my first Sample. Not bad! Only: when you
tell the Programme to record at "high Frequency" (/F:HIGH) it thinks
that around 6,000 Hz is high enough. So, I told it specifically to
sample at 44,100 Hz. Excellent!
Now for the CD Player plugged into Line-In. Where was Line-in? Got
it! And it takes a Stereo 3.5 MM Plug; oh well, that's another Lead to
buy. When I turned up the Line Volume on the Card, I got a Surprise;
for you can now hear the Signal going through the Card; and if that
isn't enough, when you're sampling, it sounds as it will when you play
it back; well almost.
At 22,000 Hz in Stereo, it isn't too bad at all; although I was getting
a few Clicks in the Background (something I remember SB Digest Saying
actually) and when I turned the Line Volume down, it didn't make much
difference.
At 44.1 Khz, (mono) I was somewhat disappointed: the first thing I
noticed on playing my Sample from the CD Player back, was at the very
start, you get a little "jiggle" or Flutter in pitch at the beginning
of the Sample. That will only last for around a quarter of a second
however; an answer is to have no sound at the very start of your
Sample. Also, it wasn't as clear as the CD; which it should be really;
I mean I'm not expecting CD Quality here, but perhaps a bit clearer
than what I got?
Note: On further investigation, I have discovered that the stereo DAC
outputs are a lot clearer than the mono ones. This can be illustrated
by running a Mod file through Trakblaster or Modplay (mono) then
through Promod (stereo.) This can also be demonstrated by trying to
convert a mono Voc to a stereo one.
I haven't been able to try the Windows Utilities that are included, for
obvious reasons!
Criticisms
I'm a little disappointed at the fact that Creative Labs have just
worked on enhancing their existing Platform, rather than giving us some
more Programmes to use that take advantage of the new capabilities of
the Card. For example: I think it would have been nice if we were
supplied with a standard Voxkit type of Programme, which would be
capable of doing such things as Silence Encoding/Compression/extraction?
of a .VOC File. I also think a Command-line Compression Handling
Utility would have been a helpful inclusion; especially for somebody
who doesn't have (and has no intention of getting) an EGA Card. I
think that the EGA Editor should have really been a separate Programme.
I also think that there should be some kind of FM Composer; which may
be able to create sounds (ie actual Instruments etc) as well as play
them; you should be able to compose Music, in a simple (and very
important here) non-graphical Environment!
There really should be a Utility to convert our old favourite ".CMS"
Files to a form playable by SB-Pro; either that, or a Programme to play
them directly. The .CMS System (originally used in Game Blaster Cards)
was one of the first true multi-voice music systems for the PC; and is
still respected in places. I personally got a Kick out of loading the
Pop-up CMS Player and doing other things on the Machine while CMS was
playing. Oh and by the way: I was in a silly mood one day, and
installed the old CMSDRV (CMS Driver.) It installed, and all that came
out were some really neat (but out-of-tune) noises.
There is too much noise on the right Channel of your stereo samples.
In fact, I really can't see what the "Filters" are supposed to do.
I want 16-bit samples! I don't think I need to say any more, except that
eight-bit samples have too much s/n ratio.
Good Points
There are (of course) things I really like about the new SB-Pro System,
otherwise I wouldn't have shown the interest: The CD-Rom Connector
allows you to connect a CD-Rom, no kidding (such as the one made by
Phillips) directly to the Card and play your CD's out of the Card. I
don't know if the DAC on the Card is used.
You'd also be able to create Multi-Media presentations;
the Sound Blaster System has always used DMA to get the Data it needs,
thus leaving the Computer to do other things ... like loading in
Bit-mapped Images.
SB-Pro is a 16-bit Card (there's an eight-bit version too?) so Bus
Communications are a lot faster! That is apparent even when using
something like the CMF Player.
The provision of separate Mic and Line Inputs is a very good and much
needed Idea! Also, being able to hear your sound as you sample (you
can turn that off) is also a brilliant move. The filtering on the Card
is supposed to be much superior than that of the "standard" Sound
Blaster; in fact there wasn't any on the standard version.
I have not tried the Game Port; and have no need for the Midi Port; but
apparently they're just the same. Incidentally: the Sound Blaster
Pro's Software includes some .MID (standard Midi) Files; Why didn't
they bundle Voyetra's excellent SP Pro Sequencer with the System?
Creative Labs have included a Demo of a TrakBlaster - like Programme
called Tetra. That requires an EGA, but did run on my Machine. I
think it's a very good idea for Creative Labs to be now supporting this
Programme.
As well as setting an Environment Variable pointing to the Directory,
SB-Pro now set's an Environment Variable in your Autoexec.Bat file
pointing the Programmes to the right DMA, Interrupt and Port
Assignments.
Conclusion
If you've got the Hard disk Space (a full Sb-Pro Installation takes
just over 2 MB) and if you are also wanting to create high-quality
Samples (and use more Space?) then the SB-Pro System is your Answer.
I still feel that SB-Pro is really not a replacement for the "standard"
Sound Blaster Card; it is (as the name suggests) for the Professional
or Musician, who wants to take Sampling seriously.
I have read about the new Adlib Gold Card; I'm very happy that Creative
Labs decided to provide Adlib Compatibility; as the Adlib system is now
widely accepted in the Music World, as well as being used ever
increasingly in Games.
Adlib Gold however, is out on it's own (downwardly compatible with 1.X)
and uses Yamaha's four-operator FM Chip and, 12-bit samples! Yaay!
Needless to say, I'm going to be trying one of those when it comes to
New Zealand. Is the roomour that Creative Labs are working on a
look-alike true?
If people start to support it by writing more and more
Programmes/Utilities/Games etc it looks as if SB-Pro has a good and
long future ahead!!!!!!!!!!
Reviews
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Modem USA - a book review
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NewsStand News
@212May 1992
rev 1.55
ModemNews Magazine
c/o The GreenBird Group
116 Dean Street
Suite B
Stamford, Connecticut 06902-6251
203 359.2299 BBS (2400-9600)
203 969.1183 Voice (7-9 PM EST)
[ModemNews can be reached via our RelayNet Conference]
Jeff Green, Publisher
Chris Bird, Macintosh Editor
Bob Olafson, DOS Programmer
Roger Bacon, Associate Editor
Copyright
1992 The GreenBird Group
Dear Sysops,
NOTE: This document is for the use of Sysops who presently distribute
ModemNews Magazine, OR for those sysops who may in the future consider
doing so. Please direct any questions to the numbers above.
If you already have a copy of ModemNews in your file base, or you are
offering it for online viewing please note that NO permission is needed
for either, however, the magazine may not be altered in any way except
for when used for online viewing. (See the note at the end of this
document for more information.)
As you may already know, ModemNews Magazine has grown into an
international electronic publication, and has grown this way due to the
hard work of many Sysops and BBS users across North America.
ModemNews started out as a local DOS based BBS news magazine. As our
issues were uploaded around the BBS circuit it began to spread far from
the original area for which it was intended. All for the better. As of
this writing we are presently in more than seventy major markets, and
can be found on some of the many NetWorks that link BBS's around the
country.
This is just the beginning. As we grow, so will the BBS community. The
thousands of BBS users across North America will be able to find a
common voice within the pages of ModemNews Magazine.
ModemNews Magazine is not a technically oriented publication. Rather
it is more like a `Readers Digest' of the electronic medium. In our
pages your users will be able to find all manner of interesting
information. From recipes to jokes, from technical papers to News and
Views about the computer and BBS industry. These pages can be used as a
focal point for BBS users from all over to exchange information and
ideas on just about, well, anything! That's the beauty and intent of
ModemNews.
ModemNews Magazine is distributed through a Network of NewsStands that
will make it possible for any reader to obtain a copy of the magazine
on a BBS near to their home. Each week we are adding more NewsStands to
the ranks. This document will tell you how you may join this constantly
growing number of ModemNews NewsStands.
Below, we hope to clearly delineate a distribution policy for ModemNews
that will be fair to all Sysops and readers alike. In addition, you
will find out how to be listed in our pages as a ModemNews NewsStand.
The advantages to your board are many and the demands on you are very
few. Just a few minutes of your time to get set up, and a few minutes
more once each month to post the newest issue of the magazine. More
about that later.
Publication Schedule for ModemNews Magazine
-------------------------------------------
ModemNews will be published once each month (except for July and
August).
Deadline date for entries is the 15th, and release date of each new
issue will be on the first of the month.
Information from you, your users, or from your board that is received
by the specified date will, if space permits, be published in the
immediate issue. If space is not available, the information will be
posted in the very next issue in turn.
You or your users may submit anything you or they feel should be
published in an issue of ModemNews. We are particularly looking for the
following;
NOTE: Numbers in parentheses denote the 'rough' maximum Kilobyte limit.
1) Interesting message threads from your board about most any topic.(10K)
2) General Purpose technical papers and articles.(15K)
3) General articles concerning the computer/BBS industries.(15K)
4) Editorial comments and replies.(5K)
5) Feature articles and stories.(15K)
6) ANSI and/or MacPaint artwork.(15K)
Do not limit yourself to the above list. We are open to all
suggestions. It should be remembered that this magazine is wholly
dependant upon user submissions for it's content. You are encouraged to
submit a profile of your particular BBS as well as an ANSI/TEXT/or
MacPaint ad which will be displayed in the magazine once your BBS has
been approved as a ModemNews NewsStand.
Your BBS ad will be seen by readers from coast to coast and be one of
only 10 that will be published within each issue!
[The above option is available ONLY to BBS systems that are FREE to the
general public, and are officially recognized NewsStands]
If general access to your system is limited to paying members, you
may then purchase commercial ad space in the magazine. (see AD.DOC
included with this package)
How to become an Official ModemNews NewsStand.
---------------------------------------------
BEFORE YOU CONTACT MODEMNEWS YOU MUST HAVE COMPLIED WITH THE SET UP LISTED IN THIS DOCUMENT. DO NOT CALL US BEFORE YOUR SYSTEM IS READY. YOUR BBS WILL BE CHECKED BY ONE OF OUR STAFF. (usually within 14 days.)
ModemNews reaches it's readership through 'FREE' distribution. No fee
or penalty may be levied for a download of ModemNews. This does not
imply `free' downloads from your board. Upload/Download ratios on your
board are exempt, though some boards allow ModemNews to be accessed
without affecting user U/D ratios. If your board has commercial or paid
access lines, ModemNews must be able to be accessed through the public
lines on a callers FIRST or, at the least, his second call after they
have completed your verification process if you have one.
A new user MUST however be able to see on his FIRST call that he has
reached a ModemNews NewsStand.
In order for you to be an official NewsStand several things must be done.
Sysops requesting NewsStand status from ModemNews Magazine should be
at least 18 years of age and be operators of established Bulletin Board
Systems.
NewsStand status will NOT be granted to BBS's that encourage or engage
in the following activities;
Phreaking
Pirating
Virus development or distribution
Have more than 25% X-rated GIFS unless it is specifically an Adult access BBS
If an existing NewsStand is found to be actively engaged in any of
these activities they will be immediately dismissed, and local Law
Enforcement Agencies will be notified. There will be no exceptions.
A notice MUST be placed on the front end of your system notifying callers
that you are indeed a ModemNews NewsStand. This is a MUST and will be
strictly enforced.
1) Create and maintain a download FILE area for ModemNews that will
contain at least the immediate issue, as well as the past two issues of
the magazine. There is no need to keep the entire collection of
magazines in your database. This file area may be "shared" with other
`magazines' or files as long as the file menu clearly states the words
ModemNews.
2) Try to get your users involved. This is for THEM and BY them.
Advertise the magazine, request your users to upload their works, and
contribute yourselves by sending us a Profile of your BBS (roughly
5-10K in size). You may also send us interesting message threads from
your system. Anything that may allow other readers to get a feel for
your particular BBS system and inform our readers.
3) You MUST contact ModemNews EXPRESS! (203) 359.2299 and request
listing in the magazine and leave a message to the Sysop requesting
such be done. (You might also upload at this time any ads or BBS
profiles.)
Notify the Sysop what action has been taken on your part and be sure to
include your boards name and number.
While online you should fill out questionnaire #3 at ModemNews EXPRESS!.
If you do not answer honestly, your request will be disregarded. There
will be no exceptions and you will not be able to reapply with us for
at least one calendar year. Your system will be checked and screened
BEFORE you are granted NewsStand status. If your System has not been
set up properly to receive ModemNews when one of our staff calls to
check, your request for NewsStand status will not be granted.
4) You MUST pick up your NEXT issue of ModemNews from the ModemNews
Central Library at ModemNews EXPRESS!. Thereafter we will find an
alternate (read:less expensive) method for you to obtain your newest
issues, including automatic transfer via RelayNet if you carry the
ModemNews conference.
We will try to make it possible for you to obtain your copies from
another NewsStand in your area or through a NET system in your area. If
you CAN already do this, please phone us and let us know. This will
help speed up the distribution of the magazine and keep a good deal of
your money out of the pockets of our favorite phone companies.
5) In MOST cases submissions from your readers or from yourselves
should be sent to ModemNews OnLine as soon as they are received.
6) The magazine may NOT be altered in anyway when posted in your
ModemNews file area. It must be posted EXACTLY as received. This also
holds true for the archived version.
7) Your system will be checked by our staff from time to time. If it
has been found that you have violated our agreement, you will be deleted
from our NewsStand listing, and a note will be posted in the magazine
stating why this was done.
8) We REQUIRE that you contact ModemNews EXPRESS! least once in every
30 (thirty) day period so that we know you are still with us, and
operating in accordance with our requests. A call like this need only
last one or two minutes. At ModemNews EXPRESS! you will find important
information for you updated frequently, as well as the current issues.
(You need not get your issues from us after the first, you may get them
from your nearest local NewsStand if that is available to you. A
message left to us in the ModemNews conference on RIME (RelayNet) will
suffice.
[addendum 12/01/91]
Any NewsStand that we do not hear from within this time period will be
placed on suspension for a period of 15 days, and notice made in the
Magazine as well in the ModemNews conference on RelayNet. We will at
this time make an attempt to notify them of this by direct contact to
their BBS. If at the end of this 15 day period we still have not heard
from the NewsStand they will be dropped fom the listings in the next
immediate issue.
In these few paragraphs I hope that I have answered the many questions
I am sure you will have. I have tried to make this process as simple as
is possible, and feel confident that this has been done.
If you have any suggestions for us or further questions PLEASE call us
at ModemNews EXPRESS! at anytime. You will usually receive a response
within 48 hours. The more exact information you leave us, the better we
can answer your questions, or deal with your requests.
Note for DOS systems....
------------------------
When ModemNews is offered for online viewing on your system, Sysops are
ENCOURAGED to use the /0 <--- that's a ZERO option that will allow a
caller to go directly to PageOne, and upon exiting go directly to the
last page. The magazine may NOT be altered in any other way without the
express permission of the editor. This will be a blessing to those who
log onto your boards at 1200, and a miracle for those who are still
crawling along at 300.
My lawyer made me include the following.........
Shareware Notice:
This file is NOT Freeware. It is Shareware in an interesting form.
If you continue to read ModemNews Magazine for any length of time (at least
three issues) we would expect you to register your support with a donation
of your choosing.
The official NewsStand price for a copy of ModemNews Magazine is $3.00
(three dollars), but please note, no SysOp or person, or BBS service of
any kind may charge for a download of any issue of the magazine. This
also includes disk copying services and Shareware distribution services
without prior written permission from the staff of ModemNews. This
also extends itself to commercial online services such as CompuServe,
America OnLine, Prodigy and GEnie
Only the officers of ModemNews Magazine may collect your registration
fees. Officers of ModemNews Magazine can be found at ModemNews
EXPRESS!. If you should need further information, your local NewsStand
SysOp should be able, and will be more than happy to help you.
You may send your registration fees to:
ModemNews Magazine
c/o The GreenBird Group
116 Dean Street Suite B
Stamford, CT 06902-6251
Voice 203 969.1183
BBS 203 359.2299
Please make your checks payable to: Jeff Green
[eof]
standpop
Are you interested in becoming a ModemNews Magazine NewsStand? This area will give you all the information you will need to do so. Join us........................... join us!
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Humor & Fun!
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Come along and laugh with us!
This is the area we set aside for some fun each month. You'll laugh right along with our favorite resident scribe - Zerro, with the irreverent Del Freeman and others. Of course, as with every other area of ModemNews YOUR submissions are important to us. So if you would like to have your 15 minutes of fame (sorry, no cash or money orders)...
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Resident Scribe Zerro
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The Three Princesses
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The "Hollow Earth" Theory
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More from our resident scribe Zerro!
The ignorance of one voter in a Democracy impairs the safety of us all.
If you happen to think that you understand everything that is going on
about you, it is likely that you are hopelessly confused. It is not
met to be understood, but it is met to be observed and commented upon.
If you are not totally confused, you do not really understand the
situation.
If there is anything a public servant hates to do, it is usually
something for the public.
Stop and think about this for a minute. Here is a guy running for
President that is willing to spend umpteen million dollars to obtain
the office, and while you are right there in his presence, he is
telling you how he is going to balance the budget. His salary is going
to be about $ 200,000 per year, and he is spending millions to get into
this office, while telling you he is going to balance the budget. Does
all of this really make any sense?
The Bore is the person who deprives you of your solitude without any
form of recompense in the form of decent company. A good bore can
consume within the space of one year, one and a half times his own
weight in patience. It requires considerable talent and no small
measure of experience to be an accomplished bore.
If you understand everything, you are obviously misinformed.
If you don't know where you are when you get there, then this is a
fairly poor place to find out that you are not where you thought you
were.
People leave Washington, D.C, by box, either ballot or coffin.
One of the hardest arguments to refute is silence.
Anyone can win, of course, but this can be somewhat complicated if
there is a second entry.
Bureaucracy defends the status quo long after that quo has lost its
status.
If folks don't want to do it, it's hard to keep them from it.
I have often wanted to vote for the best man, bnut so seldom have I
found him listed among the candidates. The very best thing about the
group that is usually listed is that only one of them can win.
It is dangerous for someone running for national office to say things
that people might remember. One of the largest liabilities is an
ability to speak with precision and allow people to know what you are
saying and what it means. Avoid these things if you wish to be
elected.
In a Democracy, decisions are made by a majority. Not by a majority of
the people, but by a majority of that minority enfranchised to vote.
Not just those who can vote. The minority is made up entirely of those
who do vote, and that is quite a minority indeed that makes the
decisions for a Democracy.
Everything comes to the man who is least in need of it, and at a time
when it is inconvenient for him to receive it.
True enough, you can not cross the bridge till you come to it, but it
is well in this world of constant uncertainty, to keep an extra pontoon
or two handy, just in case you get to a river without a bridge.
It is a foolish man who tests the depth of the river with both feet at
the same time. Often this person tests just one river.
If at first you don't find success, there is no use being obstinate
about it.
The decision is maybe, and that's final unless it isn't although at
this time it seems to be.
Modesty is that art which allows that you draw attention to whatever it
is that you are being humble about at the present time.
Very frequently, when someone can not change their mind, it is an
indication of a lack of something to change.
There are three ways to get something accomplished. Do it yourself.
Employ someone to do what you want done. Forbid your children, very
strictly, from doing what you want done.
Sometimes problems are so difficult that it takes an expert just to
remain undecided about the possbile solutions to the problem.
Once an appeal is made to force to settle a disagreement, it is well to
remember that there is now one thing you can not afford, and that is to
lose.
That individual who is habitually undecided is one who suffers from
exhaustion and horror for life.
Many people, while they will not experience a nervous breakdown
themselves, can be rather easily identified as carriers of this malady.
Humility is elusive, for the very moment you think you have it, at that
very instant, you've lost it.
There is never a convenient time for death, for taxes or for
childbirth, but all these things happen and we manage to survive them
all. Some are a joy, others a relief, but taxes are for sure no fun.
If this material is offensive to you, and admittedly it will be
offensive to someone, than you should take time out to contemplate this
truth. Seriousness is the refuge of the truly shallow!
Often times, the best armor we have is keeping out of range.
There is no such thing as a little enemy just as there is only a big
friend. If you have no enemies, you are also apt to be in the same
prediciment with regard to friends.
It is a lot more fun to suspect someone of something than to know the
true facts of the case under discussion.
A tax loophole is a form of tax reform that did not benefit you. Had
you benefitted from it, it would have been a model piece of tax reform
legislation.
Conscience: The unending visit of a Mother-in-law.
Jim and Tammy Bakker are the only people I know who are a disgrace to
their underwear.
Nothing quite compares to getting an income tax refund, unless it is
standing before a firing squad and living to tell of the incident.
It takes more brains and effort to make out your income tax forms
correctly than it does to make the income you are reporting.
Reality implies constancy. Constancy is composed of change, one of the
few things in reality that is constant is change. Change implies
movement from where we were to where we will be after we get on with
it. Movement always involves some degree of friction, and the more you
move, or the longer you move, the more friction you are discussing
here. Friction brings heat and a lot of friction brings us a lot of
heat. The only place that movement doesn't bring friction is in outer
space. Now it also happens that heat does not generate light, and so
you can have hot feelings, deep feelings, true and sincere convictions,
and not have one iota of rationality or reality involved, after you
have been through change and movement and, yes, friction.
A nation's advance as a civilized society can be properly guaged by the
manner in which it treats the poor and the elderly - often the same
people.
Aside from traffic, nothing has put the brakes on society quite so well
as a committee.
In order to form an excellent and efficient committee, only three
people are required. Additional to this, one needs to be absent and
one needs to be sick. On such rare occasions as happen when these
circumstances come together, you have that threatened species of
animal, the perfect committee.
A man can drown and do it easily in a stream whose average depth is a
mere seven inches.
Figures won't lie, but liars will figure, and I figure that as long as
they figure to lie, it's hard to find the facts.
My counsin is a statistician and he regularly draws wild postulations
from which he deduces unwarrented assumptions which lead to his
foregone conclusions. It is his job to support all of this with
numerical facts which substantiate these bizarre prejudices. He is
what many folks today call a professional person. Knows more and more
about less and less until he arrives to that distinguishing point at
which time he knows nothing about anything. Fine profession,
statistician.
One thing can be said about our space program. Our tax dollars go farther.
Never trust a man who speaks well of everybody - you for instance.
Bureaucrat: A Democrat who is holding some office that a Republican
wants, or a Republican who is holding some office that a Democrat
wants.
With a little research and some funding it is quite possible to find a
difficulty for every solution.
Often enough statistics are like a bikini. What they reveal is
suggestive, but what they concel is vital. Don't put any faith in what
statistics tell you until you have carefully examined what these
statistics do not tell you.
An official is always an official and always has a wild unquestioning
belief in written reports.
Never insult the alligator until you have crossed the river.
When you catch an elephant by the hind leg and the elephant is trying
to run away, it seems wise to let the poor animal lose.
If you can't see the bottom, wade not, for you may be in far too much
before you know it.
If you keep a thing for seven years, you will find a use for it.
Moderation never hurt anything and helped quite a few things.
It is a mistake to assume that in order to give an immortal speech, it
must also be eternal.
It seems highly impractical for us to be thinking of lengthing the
school year when it is already so difficult to get in all those back to
school sales that we now have.
The difference between a Yuppie and a Nerd is simply that one has
money....
It takes a smart person to know that the person is stupid.
There is nothing quite so flattering as being 28 and having someone
demand two forms of identification before you can be sold a drink with
alcohol in it. About the only thing that beats this sensation is being
asked for documentation that you actually do qualify for a senior
citizens discount.
Take great care never to swat the fly on the forehead of your friend,
if you are carrying an axe.
There is a world of difference between making instant coffee and
winning an argument with an Italian.
Life is often like a large serving of kumquats, sometimes there is more
of a good thing than you can take.
Sometimes it takes a real optimist to think that things are so bad that
they just can't get worse.
ZERRO Speaks:
Another small installment of what might be considered humor has been
gathered from the fragments, and with no small amount of pain,
carefully glued together in this mosaic of mirth designed to keep even
the constipated happy and joyous! Tis indeed proof positive that if
you really want to steal, you can do it on a wholesale basis. What is
within this installment has been borrowed, copied, stolen, enlarged,
elaborated, enhanced, reformed, reformatted (this is a biggie when you
deal with computers!), decomposed, recomposed, composed, reconstituted, disarranged, rearranged, dearranged, reiterated, plagarized and otherwise tormented in various ways, until the material finally
surrendered and agreed to come together here, as it has. No one really
wants to take any responsibility for this, since it is dangerous and
might even lead to loss of reputation and what is worse, like
over-production of ear wax from the lumbar region! Things like this
can happen, you know, so on the pretense of being safe, no one is
willing to take chances.
Well, enough of this. If you like what you have read, and are able to
read and still like it, see your pet store fish dealer immediately and
eat the stock for a week. That should cure your problem. If you are
still able to say that you like this material and then go that final
step, the one that separates you from sanity completely, and say, out
loud now "I want to contribute to this silly stuff that this Zerro guy
writes!" When you do this, of course, your name goes on a list, and no
Discover Card representative will be sending you much of anything for a
good long while.....Anyway, you want to send something for inclusion in
this Zerro feature
----
WRITE TO:
Resident Idiot - Scribe Zerro
P. O. Box 38
Buffalo, Illinois 62515
Sending material to this address gets your name on another list. A
list called "Contributors," which also stands for "Citizens on nothing
too real in beauty, unless they order real sacks." Either way you cut
it, getting on this list is not something everyone fights to do!!!!!
You may be sure the princesses were glad now that they didn't have to
sit and scratch the Trolls' heads any longer; there was no end to the
kindnesses they wanted to do for the man who had freed them, and the
youngest princess wrenched off her golden ring and knotted it into his
hair. Then they gathered up as much gold and silver as they thought
they could carry, and started for home.
As soon as they tugged on the rope, the captain and the lieutenant
hauled up the princesses one after the other. But when they were safely
up, the soldier realized that he had been foolish not to seat himself
in the basket and go up ahead of the princesses, for he didn't trust
his comrades at all. Now he decided to try them, so he put a huge lump
of gold in the basket and jumped to one side. When it was a good
halfway up, they cut the rope so that the basket crashed down on to the
rock and the pieces blew about his ears.
"Now we're rid of him!" they said. Then they threatened to kill the
princesses if they didn't say that *they* were the ones that had
rescued them from the Trolls. The princesses didn't like it one bit,
especially the youngest one; but life is precious, so the captain and
the lieutenant had it their own way.
Now when the captain and the lieutenant came home with the princesses,
there was indeed great rejoicing at the king's manor. The king was so
happy that he didn't know which foot to stand on. He took his best
bottle of wine out of the cupboard and poured out a cup of welcome for
the two of them; and if they hadn't been made much of before, they were
now, I can tell you. And they strutted back and forth, and preened
themselves like gentlemen the whole day, now that they were getting the
king himself for a father-in-law; for it was clear that they would
divide half the kingdom between them. They both wanted the youngest,
but for all they begged and threatened, they got nowhere. She wouldn't
have them in any shape or form. So they talked to the king about
setting twelve men to guard her; she had been so gloomy ever since she
had been in the mountain, they said, and they were afraid she might do
herself some harm.
This the king agreed to do; and he told the guard to take good care of
her, and to follow her wherever she went day and night.
And now a feast was to be prepared for the two eldest princesses, with
much brewing and baking. This was to be a wedding the like of which had
never before been seen nor heard of: and they brewed, and they baked,
and they butchered as though it would never come to an end.
In the meantime, the soldier wandered aimlessly back and forth in the
other world. He was sad to think that he would never again see a human
face nor the light of day; but he had to keep himself busy with
something, he thought, and so he went from room to room, one day and
two days and many more. He rummaged in all the cupboards and drawers, and poked about in the shelves, and looked at all the fine things that were there. After a while he came to a drawer in a table; he pulled it
out, and inside lay a golden key. So he tried the key in all the locks
there were, but not one did it fit until he came to a little wall
cupboard over the bed, and in that he found a rusty old whistle.
"It might be worth trying to see if there's any sound in it," he
thought, and put it to his mouth. Before he knew what was happening,
there was a whirring and a rushing on all sides, and, all of a sudden,
down swooped a flock of birds so large that the ground was black.
"What does our master wish today?" they asked.
Well, if *he* were their master, said the soldier, then he'd certainly
like to know if they could tell him how to get back to the earth.
No, there was not one who could, "- but our mother hasn't come yet,"
they said. "If she can't help yo, then there's no way!"
So he blew the whistle once more, and after a little while he heard
something beating its wings a long way off. At the same time a wind
started blowing so hard, that he was thrown from one wall of the
courtyard to another like a whisp of hay, and if he hadn't grabbed
hold of the rail fence he would almost certainly have blown away at
once. Thereupon an eagle glided down in front of him, so big that
it was beyond words to describe.
"You come hard, you do," said the soldier.
"I come the way you blow!" said the eagle.
Then he asked if she knew a way for him to escape out of the world
they were in now.
"Nestlings can't get away from here," said the eagle, "but if you'll
slaughter twelve oxen for me, so that I can eat my fill, I'll try to
help you, I will! Have you a knife?"
"No, but I have a sword," said the soldier.
When the eagle had finished off the twelve oxen, she bade him
slaughter one more and take i along as provisions for the journey.
"Every time I open my beak, you must be quick and throw a piece in,"
she said, "or else I won't be able to carry you aloft."""""""""""""
Humor & Fun!
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Resident Scribe Zerro
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The Three Princesses
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The "Hollow Earth" Theory
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The Mating Sounds of North American Frogs
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Chapter Eighteen and Nineteen
THE MATING SOUNDS OF NORTH AMERICAN FROGS
a novel about teaching in two first-persons
by Meredith Garmon
(with a lot of help on the T parts from Melody Lewis)
Firefly has blue eyes over which she wears shocking pink contact
lenses. The effect is ultra-violet. Clover has her mother's sea
green eyes with gold flecks in them. Ips wears hazel eyes impatiently
convinced they should be frosty blue. Ms. T's eyes are often
bloodshot, due to midnight paper grading, daily office report
checklists and periodic over-indulgence in rum and other goodies.
No one's really sure about Shelly's eyes. They can be grey,
green, silver, blue, brown, black, lavender, gold, black, warm, or
icy, depending on mood, cycles, spells cast, and other things. Mostly
they are just eyes, but Clover understands that Shelly's eyes aren't
limited to the spaces beneath her black eyebrows. Clover's discovered
on several occasions that Shelly had aesthetically pleasing,
erotically stimulating, and intellectually probing eyes behind her
kneecaps, under the fingernail of the index finger of her left hand,
and in the middle of her forehead.
In the wee hours this morning after leaving T's place Clover and
Shelly visited their friend the musician. The musician has stars and
complete solar systems in his eyes. He's a twenty-one year old genius
whose chiseled features are well concealed under a splendidly unkempt
beard. He has long brown hair that leaps to his waist, and he sticks
out among generally much less hirsute Our Countians like a hairy black
thumb on a Swedish princess. He's living sideways, which explains his
Bohemian garb in the sensible, tailored 1980s.
Shelly was rolling a joint for them when suddenly she looked up.
She looked as though she were listening for a faint, far off sound.
Clover and the musician watched her and held their breath.
"It's almost time," said Shelly.
"Time for what, Shel?" asked Clover.
"Earth rhythms. They're almost all in place for our trip to
Zorch."
"Far out," said the musician. Shelly eyed him, and then Clover.
"Do we need to go rounding up the others?" asked Clover wondering
what time it was anyway and looking around the apartment for a clock.
Shelly shook her head. "No. We have eight hours or so."
I awoke this morning and donned my purple and red corduroys. I
got to school I moved my little tag with "N" on it from the dark blue
board (signifying night--out) to the yellow board (signifying day--
in), checked my mailbox, dropped my briefcase beside my black-topped
counter, and went down to T's room. When I got there Shelly, Clover,
Ips, The Firefly, and T herself were already there, buzzing excitedly,
sort of waiting for me, sort of not. Firefly had brought her "Luce"
ashtray, and the Betyses' big golden-gilt antique angels-and-gargoyles
mirror was there.
"It's almost time," chimed Firefly when I walked in. I looked at
Shelly.
"Sometime during first period would probably be best." said
Shelly.
"Precisely when my Firelady won't be having her hiney whacked,"
said Ips.
This is how we did it. I wrote a note on a piece of long yellow
paper. It said
Mr. Spumoni,
Please excuse Shelly Betyse from your first period Italian II
class today. I need her assistance with a demonstration in my general
science class. Thank you.
I signed and dated it. Then I wrote a similar note to Mrs. Greco
to get Clover out of typing class, and another to Ms. Shumach to get
Firefly out of yearbook staff class, and one to Coach Portly to get
Ips out of civics class, and finally one to Ms. T that said
Dear T,
I like you. Do you like me? Circle one:
yes no maybe never
If Spumoni, Greco, Shumach, and Portly ever get together, they
surely will mutter that it must be one hell of a demonstration to
require all that assistance. Of course, they would be right.
Ips and I carried the mirror down to my classroom and we got it
mounted on the wall just as the homeroom bleeper went off.
"Beefo," I said fifteen minutes later just after the first period
tardy bleeper had sounded, "would you give me a hand setting up
today's demonstration."
"Yes, sir, Mr. N," said Beefo cheerfully. I never reported Beefo
for the destruction of my desk and ever since he's been exceedingly
respectful to me. Unlike my other classes, which every now and then
got boisterous beyond their own educational good, I haven't had the
slightest problem in my first period class: if a kid so much as burped
through his nose without raising his hand first, Beefo's head would
whirl around from the four desks he sat in (five at first, but he
dropped a few pounds), and glare at the offender for a couple seconds.
The offender barely breathes for the rest of the period.
Beefo and I dragged the machine out of my supply closet and got
it stationed in front of the mirror. "Wow, Mr. N," went some of the
darlins, "What is that?"
"You'll see," I said. "We're going to have a demonstration
today."
I called the roll and, making a mental note not to say anything
very specific, started up an off-the-cuff guided discussion about
other dimensions. Ips, Shelly, Firefly, and Clover entered one by
one, and I introduced each as an assistant for the demonstration we
would be having shortly. Firefly had her ashtray, Ips and Shelly went
about checking everything on the machine to make sure it was in order.
Diskettes whirred in the porta-pooter. Clover looked on, inspecting
their work. The musician came in.
"Uh, hello," I said .
"I invited him," said Shelly. "It's OK isn't it?"
"Sure," I shrugged, and turned back to ask my class another
question. Ms. T came in. She had gotten her freshman English class
settled, more or less, into reading J.R.R. Tolkien's "Leaf by Niggle."
("There was once a little man called Niggle, who had a long journey to
make. . . .")
"So, Harvey," I was saying, "you don't think inter-dimensional
travel will ever be possible because you think our zinc atoms are too
big to fit between the interstices of reality, so if we could do it,
we'd get there without zinc, which is, of course, an essential
mineral. And Janice, you say we'll never be able to do it because we
have too many problems right here in this dimension to be gallivanting
off to God Only Knows Where. What do the rest of you say?" when a
short high beep interrupted. The beep was the one that indicated that
the intercom god has turned its ear and voice to my particular
classroom. There was a tiresomely long pause, just like there always
is, before it spoke.
"Mr. N?" said God.
"Yes?" I shouted back. God is rather hard of hearing.
"Is Miss Firefly with you?" said God.
"Shit," said Firefly under her breath.
"Yes, she's here," I shouted.
"Could you send her to the disciplinary principal's office,
please?"
"I will tell her you called," I hollered.
"What?" said God.
"I'll send her shortly," I yelled. There was a silent pause, and
then God beeped off.
"We have to get started now," said Shelly.
"It's time?" I asked. She nodded. "So," I said to my class,
"our demonstration today is about inter-dimensional travel. My
assistants and I are actually going to try to go to another dimension.
"Mr. N, you've always been in another dimension," quipped Ips,
who didn't know the dangers of quipping in my first period general
science class. Beefo started to rumble, and a leg slid off its desk.
"It's OK, Beefo," I said, "He didn't mean it, he wasn't
disrupting anything, it's OK, everything's all right." Regarding Ips
suspiciously, Beefo slowly settled back into place. "Now," I
continued to the class, "do not try this yourself. It's pretty
dangerous. After we're gone, the machine will continue to run for a
few minutes. Don't touch it." Firefly pulled the cord and the
machine roared to life. Ips flipped a toggle switch and then sat down
at the keyboard of his wired-in porta-pooter. "Please remember," I
hollered over the noise, "that the odd numbered exercises at the end
of Chapter 17 are due tomorrow. After you watch this demonstration,
you may work on the homework for the rest of the period."
A light beam became visible from out of the mechanical innards.
It went into a tube that went around and under other mechanical
apparatus, and then it came out and went into the blade which
scattered it all over the room.
"Far out," said the musician.
"Firefly," yelled Shelly, "I'll signal when it's time to put the
ashtray in between the tube and the blade." Firefly nodded. "After
you put it there, let go. The beam will hold it up."
"What's the signal?" Firefly asked.
"Um. I'll lift my left foot," said Shelly. Then she placed both
hands on the machine and closed her eyes. Ips was sitting on the
floor on the other side of machine, typing madly on the porta-pooter.
T said into my ear, "What about our zinc atoms?"
"And what about all our problems right here in this dimension?" I
answered back into her ear.
"Be serious," she chided.
"It's OK," I said. "It's not the atoms that get rearranged. It's
the molecules. And we've got molecules thousands of times bigger than
zinc atoms."
She did not look reassured. But Shelly had lifted her foot, and
The Firefly put the ashtray in place. Suddenly something started to
form between the fat naked baby gargoyles and the fat naked baby
angels. It was an amorphous shifting purple splotch, about a foot
across.
"Far freakin' out," said the musician. Shelly opened her eyes
and stepped back. Ips was gazing intently at the porta-pooter's four-
inch monitor. Shelly walked around and looked over Ips's shoulder.
"That's it!" hollered Ips, and he hit a button on the keyboard.
The purple splotch on the mirror stopped shifting and just sort of
vibrated there. It had a blue-green fringe now. We all stood
transfixed, staring at it. After an elongated moment, Ips finally got
up. The faith of children and all that, I guess. He reached out and
touched the splotch, shimmered for a moment and disappeared. There
was a loud clatter that scared the shit out of me. Beefo had fainted
and slumped out of his desks, knocking three of them over. I walked
over to Harvey and told him to go get the school nurse as soon as we
were gone. I turned back to the mirror just in time to see The
Firefly shimmer for a split second before she, too, was gone. And
then Clover went. And then the musician stepped up to the mirror,
turned and looked around at all of us. He pulled a wooden flute from
Calcutta out of his pocket, tooted a couple notes as he turned back to
the splotch, and then touched the flute to the mirror. It
disappeared, but he didn't. This surprised him, and he thrust his
hand through the splotch. He too shimmered and was gone.
Shelly turned to T and I. "Go on," Shelly said. I looked at T.
She looked at me.
"I'll be right behind you," we both said. And then we laughed.
I patted her shoulder once, and stepped toward the mirror. I turned
and extended my arm back toward T. She took my hand, squeezed it
once, and let it go. She winked and smiled. Then I turned and reached
out to the mirror.
Wednesday, February 11, 1981
Slazlic \SLAZ-lik\ n, MZ aszliken, similar to ash, fr. OZ
ascegelic, that which remains when the fire (literal or figurative) has
passed
--from the fat red dictionary with the smiling zansfara on the
front
Neva and Kali gradually moved off their cushions and Neva pulled
the silk tassel that took the colors of the tent walls and opened
their home space to the blue-green soil and the magenta swirly sky.
There against the short horizon were two Earthans, leaping about,
clutching hands and spinning in circles. They were covered in slazlic
and were so totally absorbed in each other that they were as one with
the shifting landscape.
"I believe one of them is your friend Ms. T," observed Kali. "And
the other one is her mate. His name is N?"
"Yes, Kali," Neva answered. "That is N. But her mate? Of that
I am not so sure." Kali smiled again and touched her companion's
fingers.
"Look at them. They are like two children who have just found
each other. They are on a merry-go-round or, perhaps," she laughed,
"riding the wheel of fortune. They and the ones who come with them
will discover their destiny, or a part of it, while they are here.
And they are in a state of grace, my love, a pure shining state of
grace."
N and I, meanwhile, were indeed sloshing around in slazlic. "I
think you need some more here, N," I cried, "right here on the end of
your nose." I dabbed him thus on the end of the nose and scampered a
bit away.
"And you, T, are missing just a smidgen right here on your ear."
By now we both were casting blue-green shadows among the morning suns
and were clasping each other's hands for support until finally N fell
down on one knee and whispered, "We are obviously on quite an
adventure, Ms. T. Wilt thou take me for thy knight to honor and
protect thee from whatever dragons there might be in this foreign
land?"
I sank down to one knee too and dragged out a red marking pencil
from my shoulder bag. "Sir Knight, N, of Our County and the Great
Beyond," I said, "I dub you my loyal friend, and friends we shall be,
if you'll but grant me a single boon, m'lord."
"Name it, m'lady, and it is thine if the power be within me to
grant it you."
"That you shall thus likewise dub me too."
"Oh, good. I was wondering who was going to protect me," he
said. And so I lent him the red marker and as the magenta whirled and
swirled around us, and the suns glittered, I touched him on his right
shoulder, and he touched me on my right shoulder, and we bowed our
heads toward the morning soil and we spoke our oath.
Chapter Nineteen
W-11-F-81
My knight, whose knight I am, and I looked up to find ourselves
being hailed by a pair of supple-limbed, bulbous-bodied creatures that
could only be Zorchans. "Hello!" I called to them.
"Hello!" cried T.
"Greetings," came back their wonderful, friendly voices. We
sloshed toward them, and they glided toward us. The one with three
eyes, I knew, must be the female. Perhaps to show us familiarity with
our customs, and because they knew we didn't know didley about theirs,
they shook hands with us. Earthans must have at first seemed to
Zorchans to be an awfully libertine species, the way we go about
joining hands with the most casual of acquaintances. So great was
their desire to make us at home that they had even spent some time
practicing the casual handshake ("Remember now, use as much palm as
possible and as little finger, squeeze quickly and let go, and while
you're doing it try to think of something else"). We headed back to
Kali and Neva's tent.
"I wonder where the kids are," I said. I'd seen them in the
distance when we first arrived--Shelly, Clover, and the musician in
one direction, and Firefly and Ips in the another.
"They are safe," Kali assured us. "They aren't far from here,
and will probably be showing up very soon." We got the tent and the
four of us sat around the fountain. T pulled out a cigarette and her
butane lighter.
"Your fire-maker will not function here," Neva told her.
"How come?" I wondered.
"We just don't have fire here," said Neva.
"We used to, I think," remarked Kali.
"Did we? It does seem that I remember having heard something
about that."
"According to which legends you steal, this whole planet is made
up of stuff analogous to what on your planet," Kali said to us, "is
called ash. I have heard my elders suggest that all of Zorch might be
the offal of a cosmic campfire."
"So why don't you have fire now?"
"I don't know," said Kali. "I just don't like it. Nobody here
likes it. It's all right on Earth, I guess, but our planet has no
affinity for fire."
"Hello," called out a Firefly. We turned to see Ips and her
entering through a flap at the back of the tent.
"What's wrong with fire?" asked Ips, having overheard.
"Fire destroys," said Kali. "We create here on Zorch. Our
planet thus does not allow flame." Ips looked dubious.
"You've got oxygen, because we're breathing, so if you've got a
combustible material, you can have fire," Ips mumbled as he pulled a
book of matches out of his pocket. He struck one. There was no flare
up of flame but the head turned instantly black. He put a finger to
the black tip.
"It's cold," he said. He tried another match and got the same
results. "That's freaky," he muttered, coming to sit by The Firefly
who had already joined our circle.
"Can you have fireflies here?" asked The Firefly.
"Oh sure," said Neva.
"That light comes from chemicals, not from combustion," said Ips.
"But they can't manage to breed here, so they die off rather
shortly after we bring them in," added Kali.
I'd been following a train of thought on the fire subject. "Ms.
T," I asked, "what does 'paraffin' mean?"
"It's like wax, isn't it? A kind of waxy stuff."
"Yes, but it has other meanings doesn't it?" T looked blank. "How
about the prefix 'para-'? What does that mean?"
"Sort of. Like, not quite, but almost. Or else faulty in some
way. You know, a paramedic is not quite a medic."
"That makes sense," I replied. 'Parasexual' refers to
reproduction resulting in combined genes from different individuals
but without meiosis or formation of a zygote. So it's almost, but not
quite, sexual."
"Almost, but not quite, sexual," said T with some eyebrow action
of her own.
"And 'paranormal,'" chimed Firefly, "means it isn't normal."
"And a paranoid is almost a noid," quipped Ips. The Zorchans
began to laugh.
"Actually," said T, "a paranoid is usually fully annoyed." The
Zorchans giggled.
On a hunch I pulled T's lighter out of her bag--it was right on
top so I didn't have to rummage. I flicked it. The usual small flame
appeared out of it's end. The Zorchan giggling came to an abrupt
halt. Their five eyes flashed.
"It's butane," I explained. "A match-tip is sulfur-based, I
think--at least they used to be. Butane is chemically very different.
It is a member of the alkane series which also includes methane,
ethane, propane, and a bunch of others."
"Inane?" suggested Shelly, but I was too involved to be
diverted.
"Butane," I continued, "is the lightest member of that series to
have any isomers, and I couldn't say for sure if that is important,
but it might be. Alkanes burn in air, and, as Ips pointed out, we
humans aren't having any breathing difficulty. Anyway, alkanes burn in
a highly exothermic oxidation-reduction reaction. They're very
flammable, in other words."
"So why doesn't the match work, Mr N?" interrupted Shelly as she
appeared through another tent flap. Clover came in right behind her.
"Well, I don't know. But what we call the alkane series, the old
alchemists had identified as paraffins--lacking affinity--in part
because of their unmixability with other chemicals. But maybe there's
some other level at which these chemicals lack affinity. . . ."
"With what?" asked Ips.
"With whatever's in the atmosphere that normally prevents fire."
"I think I was right when I said 'inane'," said Shelly. "Mr. N,
this explanation is like the belief that mercury salve will cure
syphilis because the sign for mercury, the chemical, is also the sign
for Mercury, the god of, among other things, the marketplace, where
syphilis is contracted."
"What's wrong with that?" said Kali. "Mercury salve does cure
syphilis, for just the reason you gave."
As Shelly had spoken, I saw the justice of her words, and the
foolishness of my paraffinity story. But when Kali spoke, the spell
of Zorch retook me. None of us but Shelly, whose own magic made her
immune to Zorch's, doubted Kali.
Th-12-F-81
Ips was running in circles across a cobblestone floor, hollering.
"My penis! I know it was here a moment ago!"
A fountain of shining lemon yogurt reflected off the marble walls
as a washer-woman was mopping away the last traces of Kali's
footprints. Clover, nude except for, just above her left elbow, a
black lace garter with "honi soit qui mal y pense" embroidered on it,
hovered horizontally face up near the ceiling. She was waving her
arms, conducting, I knew, the "1812 Overture," although I heard only
the glop, blop of the spilling, shining yogurt.
In a corner, I was nearing my fifteenth chin-up on a hardened
graham-cracker bar that hung over a phosphorescent Zorchan commode. T
was near by, Russian dancing (running while sitting down). Firefly,
sporting a friendly three-day beard, was sitting in a yoga position
and reading (or maybe reciting) to us a Kurt Vonnegut story about toe
massage.
Ms. T finally woke up and the scene vanished, to be replaced by
the slightly less bizarre interior of Kali and Neva's tent. It woke me
up too, which was fine with me--my arms had been aching ever since the
eighth chin-up. (But Clover didn't wake up until the cannons went
off.) T and I looked at each other bleary-eyedly.
"I hope Ips finds his thing," she said.
"Me too," I said.
I felt all warm inside. I put my arms around T's neck as we lay
half-clothed under a blanket of slazlic, and I kissed her on the nose.
She made a small noise of contentment in her throat, and we knew all
was well with Kurt's toes.
Thursday, February 12, 1981
Zorchan weather does not change. The magenta sky swirls around,
but it never gets darker, overall, and things generally don't fall out
of the sky on Zorch as they do on Earth. Morning was morning because
that's when everyone got up.
N looked around. Shelly was already up and conversing against
the side of the tent with our Zorchan hosts. He sloshed over toward
them.
I lay on my back, fiddling around with the tent thing trying to
make it turn all colors. The musician awakened and, sitting cross-
legged, began cleaning his flute. N made his way back and wiggled in
beside me.
"It's been quite a knight we've had here," he said.
"A knight and a day." And the musician began to play. Something
Mendelssohn, I think. N kissed my nose, and I kissed his, and for
several minutes we lay listening to the flute music. At length we
struggled to our feet. Firefly and Ips were lost in each other,
curled and uncurling and curling again, as the fountain sprinkled.
Neva and Kali were lost with each other again, fingertips pressed,
even blinking sporadically. Shelly and Clover had gone out.
And N and I stood there, not daring to speak of the strong magic
that neither of us understood, but propped, unknight-like, on each
other like two weary chaperons after the Friday night football game
dance. We were at a loss with each other.
N finally took my hand, and we stood there for at least a
dilrood, and he said, "I . . ."
And I said, "Me too . . ."
And he said, "But . . ."
And I said, "Yeah, me too . . ."
And he said, "Did you ever see Alice in Wonderland?"
And I said, "Have you ever danced a Lobster Quadrille?"
And he said, "Never in my purple and red plaid corduroys."
So we joined both our hands and sang the Mock Turtle song and
began the ritual of dance, however unlike a quadrille, and whether
Lewis Carroll ever would have known the difference, I'll never know,
but it worked. And as we bowed and circled and spun each other around
the Zorchan tent a measure of Earth returned and for a dilrood more we
swayed in time to the music of two dimensions and finally we too were
lost, for a precious moment, inside each other's eyes.
Th-12-F-81
When I first saw Mr. Blankeshield there in the land of blue-green
loam and magenta swirl, he ran to me, yes ran, carrying his massive
form across the soft, soft, soil. He ran like a Zorchan, without the
usual clumsiness and weightiness of Earthans on the foreign turf. He
fell upon the top three-fourths of me that was sticking out of the
slazlic, and he kissed me on each cheek. Twice on each cheek.
"My dear Mr. N!" he exclaimed. "How exquisite to see you again!"
I stepped politely back from the Affectionate Colossus.
"How do you do, Mr. Blankenshield?" I said. (Well, what would
you say?)
"Oh delightful! Simply delightful" he effused.
We made our way back to Kali and Neva's tent; I sludged, and he
effervesced his way along.
As I entered the tent, Neva and T and Firefly were sitting
together munching zansfara by the fountain.
"Did you find him?" asked T. I pulled the flap further back to
reveal the girth behind me.
"He was just where Neva said he would be," I said.
When he saw Ms. T, Mr. Blankenshield rushed in and lavished upon
her the same show of love that he had earlier performed on me.
Lifting his head from the second kiss on her left cheek, he spied the
Firefly, and likewise delighted in her presence.
Our Principal bubbled with such amazing affability that T could
barely contain her laughter. Several times burst right out, and this
made me laugh too. Mr. Blankenshield, unabashed, bubbled on.
"We thought it would be fun," I said when Mr. B finally asked how
and why we'd come to Zorch, "and we also hoped to bring you back. If
you wanted to come, of course, that is."
"Oh, back to Earth!" he said, his effervescence unflattened. "It
will be nice to see all the folks again!" And then he said, "Oh, how
I have missed balling Mrs. Casterbridge!" He looked from T to me, but
our jaws were mostly resting in our laps. Only T could manage words
at all.
"Yeah, well, I can see how you would, uh, miss the people you're
close to," she said and sort of laughed.
F-13-F-81
This morning was one of those nearly spring mornings that,
without actual cold, somehow recall the bitterest, darkest parts of
mid-winter. Rubbing my eyes with one hand, I carried with the other
the morning paper into my apartment. We got back from Zorch last
night, and its loamy blue and its magenta swirl still lay just under
my consciousness--the remembrance magnified by the subconscious after-
image of the night's dreams.
In the kitchen, hot black pep dripped out of Joe Coffee as I
leafed through the paper to find "Doonesbury." I chanced upon an
article about a man in prison. The first couple paragraphs explained
that the convict had been in the Two Counties Over Federal Prison for
forty years. His term having expired and the person being free, he
had told officials that he wanted to stay.
"It's the only life I know," said the man. There was a picture
of him. He had a face of grey stubble, and a dull look in his eyes.
When I got to school there was an official-looking letter in my
mail box. It was terse and stern and reprimanded me for being AWOL
from my classes most of Wednesday and all of Thursday. It further
noted that circus sideshow tricks were inappropriate for the classroom
and warned that "any further violations will result in termination."
Mine, I suppose.
I called the roll for homeroom 10Q, and handed the slip naming
absentees to the office runner that came by. After homeroom I was
called on to, of all things, actually teach somebody something. The
group of mostly freshmen that I faced first period is called a
"general science class." These were kids who had decided themselves
that they weren't good enough in science to take the "physical science
class" intended for students desiring, as the O.C.H.S. catalog put it,
"a rigorous learning exploration of principles and precepts as they
exist in our world." One might expect, then, that the alternative
would involve study of some other world.
"Hey, Mr. N," said the first general darlin to drift in. "That
was a pretty neat magic trick you did Wednesday. Know any more?"
"That substitute yesterday was mean; I hope she don't substitute
for you no more. . . ." added another. And so on. I wanted to speak
to these marvelously low-average ragamuffins about the science of
Zorch, to weave for them a vision of a place where any event you can
tell a plausible story for expecting to occur actually does occur,
where whatever makes sense is true. My urge was to join with these
beatific under-achievers to find what order reason can make, a quest
in which no authority (not God or King, not Truth or Reason) can ever
tell anyone in advance which methods will turn out to be "rational."
The final tardy tone radiated coldly into my brooding. I looked
up at the sullen faces and thought about what Zorch would mean to most
of them.
"What's he talking about?"
"We aren't going to be tested on this are we?"
"Whatcha been smoking this morning, Mr. N?"
They feel that if they answer both roll call and the odd-numbered
questions at the end of chapter 17, they have done all that science
demands. And I just plain don't know how to show them there's more.
Perhaps I'll find a way to reach some of them. In the meantime, there
was roll to be called and the odd-numbered questions at the end of
chapter 17 to take up and go over.
-----------
The Last chapter of this novel will be published in the next issue of
ModemNews Magazine coming to you, as always, on June 1, 1992
Writer's Block
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THE PHILOSOPHERS STONE
Roger Bacon
A letter from a friend:
Dear Roger,
I was concerned to read your recent correspondence, particularly
considering how much of it was devoted to espousing the cause of
Christianity, which I had thought you too well educated and
intelligent to give serious consideration to. I hope this does not
signify that you are physically or mentally unwell? One finds that
such conversions often follow hard upon the heels of some disaster
or other or else occur imminent to the same.
I have known you for a long time, through all the ups and downs of
your chequered career but never had you struck me as one likely to
fall prey to the insidious mix of myth, legend, historical romance
and mysticism that was blended from the beliefs of a nomadic
culture. The tenets of Judaism are mainly a subset of rituals and
practices that had a certain validity for their time, particularly
given the lack of hygiene and consequent prevalence of disease but
the rest is a borrowed mish mash of Sumerian legend and Babylonian
law as one would expect from a small tribe whose fortunes were
shaped by adversity and conflict with their more powerful
neighbors.
It is one thing to claim that Christs existence has been
established beyond any reasonable historical doubt but quite
another to then go on to embrace his Divinity and suggest that the
subsequent dubious moral, political, socio-economic twists and
turns of that eclectic Faith are the worthy historical development
of followers of some Divine Truth to which one should be willing to
devote ones life.
I cannot believe that you could be so naiive as to swallow all
that, hook, line and sinker and therefore I can only assume that
your circumstances have forced this upon you. One has only to look
at the track record of Christians in general and Southern Baptists
are as good an example as any, to see what a fraud they are, it is
said that prostitutes always converge on towns holding Baptist
conventions in anticipation of the increased trade and the recent
televangelist scams should pretty much put the lid on any remaining
doubts you might have.
I am afraid that you are laying yourself wide open for exploitation
at worst, disillusionment at best and I can only imagine that you
are desperately clutching at straws because you feel the shadow of
death is close by. If that is indeed the case I suggest you go
right out and party, pick up some girls and have yourself as good a
time as you can manage for what remains to you because once you
die, thats it!
Yours sincerely, Richard.
Dear Richard,
Thank you for your concern but no, to the best of my knowledge,
there is nothing life threatening in my immediate future!
As far as myths and legends go I assume you are referring to the
epic of Gilgamesh regarding the Flood and the law of Hammurabi from
which comes the infamous "An eye for an eye and a tooth for a
tooth" and there are several other incidents that, it is said,
appear elsewhere in other versions. This does not invalidate the
authenticity of either source and so far as the Bible is concerned,
its reliability is more often confirmed than disproved and you can
find this out for yourself so I wont waste space on it.
Where the Bible is most often considered 'at fault' is in its
description of events such as the Creation that appear to be at
odds with established scientific theory or fact. Books such as
Revelations come under a lot of fire too for what they describe
which seems to be unlikely or fanciful.
As I said, you can best refer to any number of well referenced and
scholarly books that explain this much better than I can and the
journey is likely to be of great interest if you are honest and
approach it with a view to learning rather than as a bigot with an
axe to grind in which case the attempt will prove fruitless.
Whereas the Bible poses more questions than it answers and its been
studied for thousands of years in one form or another, it also
contains the cornerstones of Judao-Christian belief so that one
need not be perplexed unless one choses to dive into waters too
deep for ones intellect.
I regard the Bible as a fundamental storehouse of human belief
whose diverse witness, complexity and depth gives it an
authenticity beyond doubt simply because of its testimony. That so
many people, from so diverse a range of sources should have
considered the message of eternal life so important as to add their
witness to it, says more than any words about the Truth it holds.
Jesus was the son of God. Thats all there is to it, as far as I am
concerned. He lived and taught and died so that we could see the
Truth of God and follow his example if we choose. The whole Bible
is a series of exemplars about what happened to those who chose not
to believe and one of the greatest of the apostles was a well
educated, wealthy man who quite literally saw the light. I saw the
light too.
You havent known me for all that long, despite your well founded
remarks about my chequered career, so you are probably unaware that
I have been attending church in most of the places we've lived in,
being nomads ourselves perhaps thats why it appeals to us!
All those churches were filled with sinners of every stripe,
including me but THAT IS WHY THEY ARE THERE! Of course the
membership has its fair share of human weaknesses but God has
promised us forgiveness and eternal life, if we will only strive to
do our best, confess our sins, ask for forgiveness and help each
other on the path to enlightenment. What you see as a collection
of hypocrites, I see as a self help group for potential saints!
Whereas you see death as the end, I see it as the beginning and I
pray that you may come to see the path to eternity as a better road
to travel.
Yours sincerely Roger...
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Aunt Amiga
Aunt Amiga
Life by committee, not Aunty's favorite way to do things.
This spring - look I don't care about your snow it's 89
degrees here, we turn on the air conditioners in April and
that's all there is to it - Aunty has been at the mercy of
others.
Friends of the Carousel want horses painted, Puck has
discovered girls, folks need letters answered and proposals
submitted, and husband needs his suit finished.
The band wants paper, the lawyer wants paper. Husband
doesn't want paper i.e. tax receipts but I follow him around
the house with them anyway.
We always have the same conversation.
"No it's not skewed, April 10 then April 11 then April 12
then.... that's the way it's always been."
"No I do NOT think Bush sent March to the Russians."
Which brings us to politics. Were Clinton as bad as the
"yankees" make out we'd have taken care of him a while back.
Somebody that did all that would have "needed killin'" a
legal defense here in the South. The obverse of the do-right
coin.
While I spend these days as a flippant journalist I paid my
dues on hard news and would have been fired had I burried the
"information" in paragraph 11 or 24 that the headline was
100% wrong. The infestation of bore-worm paper pests has
been astonishing. They are paying big bucks for any tale,
the more outrageous the more money. Unfortunately gulling
the outlanders has become such sport that they are beginning
to catch on and ruin our fun.
Jabba-the-Hearst our local wanna-pundit, who finally
destroyed the Gannett monster by threatening to eat him,
and, able himself to give the truth whiplash has begun to
defend our curly headed home boy.
There is one truth about Bill Clinton that the voters
discover without any headlines. The man loves this country
and cares about the people in it and will do whatever he can
to make it great again and a good safe home for everybody.
As we say here in Arkansas you "cain't beat that with a
stick".
As for rascals currently serving they are making another run
at our God given right to communi-pute. HB 3515 basically
will allow phone companies to charge business rates - or
indeed any amount they want for BBS lines. There are
several court cases in Texas including PUC docket #8387. BUT
if HB 3515 is passed any local rulings will be gone with the
wind - much like the last of our dinars.
So loveys remember it's your right to make your voice heard
and if you choose not to vote keep your mouth closed on a
certain Wednesday morning in November.
Aunt Amiga is Dorothy Hall of Pine Bluff, ARRRdocket #8387. BUT
if HB 3515 is passed any local rulings will be gone with the
wind - much like the last of our dinars.
So loveys remember it's your right to make your voice heard
and if you choose not to vote keep your mouth closed on a
certain Wednesday morning in November.
Aunt Amiga is Dorothy Hall of Pine Bluff, AR
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Roundabout!
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Roundabout! is where we present our monthly computer related columns. You'll see "RandY's RumOr RaG" and "Vaporware" on a regular basis.
third slot is available for your writings. We are always looking for a third regular monthly column.
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RAndY's RumOR RaG
WINDOWS NEWS
Microsoft says they're ready to ship between 1.5 million and
2 million copies of Windows 3.1 when the shipping date arrives. In
an unusual arrangement, Microsoft has shipped 1 million copies
directly to Federal Express for April 6th delivery. When that date
comes, the equivalent of 15 Boeing 747's will deliver about 200,000
copies to users who preordered from Microsoft. They also plan to
ship six foreign language versions at the same time.
Interestingly, the package now says "operating system", as opposed
to the previous "graphical environment".
You may have heard about the feud between Microsoft and
Digital Research. Microsoft is refusing to help DRI make DR-DOS
compatible with Windows 3.1. The word is that DRI/Novell have
programmers in England working on a graphical operating system
(Windows clone). Microsoft is concerned that this clone will come
to market before they can get Windows NT out. I don't think they
should be too concerned given the track record for DRI.
---------------
Pundits are wondering why Microsoft shipped the new PowerPoint
without traditional beta testing like their other recent products.
The common opinion is that they didn't want any leaks, but some
suspect that the product may be weak and unimpressive.
---------------
WordPerfect is expected to ship WordPerfect Mail for Windows
this quarter. The company has also previewed a future Windows-
based WordPerfect Office. A portion of Office for Windows that is
already in working order is called Notify, an events applications
that alerts other users if incoming and outgoing messages as well
as appointments via audio or visual alarms.
An announcement date has not yet been set.
---------------
Within 30 days of the shipping of Windows 3.1, Hewlett-Packard
will send out version 4 of NewWave. Look for additions to its
"agents" feature including a forms-type interface option for agent
tasks and the ability to link more than one agent task.
---------------
Still waiting for Quattro Pro for Windows, but beta testers
say it's getting closer. Testers report that it could be a
powerful opponent to 1-2-3 and Excel with drag-and-drop
functionality, easy to understand notebook metaphor, and
compatibility with existing 1-2-3 formats.
---------------
Expect to see an enhanced 32-bit video controller soon from
Western Digital. This is not a board, but a GUI accelerated
desktop VGA controller, a result of extensive cooperation between
Western Digital and Microsoft.
---------------
Inset Systems is introducing HiJaak for Windows ($249). This
utility lets users manipulate graphics and offers conversion
capabilities. The software uses OLE technology and users can
easily incorporate its capabilities into other applications.
Included are vector-to-vector and vector-to-raster conversions for
15 different vector graphics formats. The Multiple Document
Interface allows simultaneous viewing of multiple images.
---------------
The announcement should have been made by the time this is
published and the product is expected to ship late this spring -
Procomm Plus for Windows. (YES!) The product will have all the
functionality of the DOS version with enhancements such as more
powerful keyboard mapping and the ability to view GIFs as you're
downloading.
---------------
June is the expected shipping date for Microsoft's long-
awaited Windows database program, Cirrus.
---------------
INTEL NEWS
There's a lot happening with Intel right now. Expect to see
the introduction of the 25/50 and 33/66 486 doubler chips by the
time you read this. The official name for these dual speed chips
is 486DX2. Enhancements through retail channels will be carry the
Overdrive moniker. As a retail product, Intel plans to provide
both the chip and a chip puller.
Sometime this summer, Intel is scheduled to release the P5 or
586 processor. This chip will have a 64-bit architecture including
a 64-bit external bus. Initially, the 586 will have a 66mhz clock
speed and perform at 40 MIPS. It will have two identical
processing units and two banks of cache memory (kind of like two
486 chips). (Because of the two processing units, the chip will be
able to execute two instructions simultaneously.)
The 586 will be binary compatible and have 5 to 7 times faster
floating performance, and provide error correction and fault
tolerance.
Along with the P5, Intel is getting a dual P5 module ready
which will be a small add-in board with two P5 chips for multi-
processing systems. The dual P5 module will be available next
year.
Not one to be sitting idle, Intel is already working the P6 or
---------------
While I'm talking about the 586, Intel is looking for a
release early next year of a low-end 32-bit version of the 80586
processor which could plug directly into 486DX sockets. They're
also launching an aggressive single-chip upgrade program to allow
486-based systems to be upgraded to a range of performance levels
in the 5868 family by simply swapping chips.
This lower cost 586 will allow 486 systems running Windows to
have the equivalent of two processors running applications
simultaneously. Performance is estimated at three times that of
the 486DX-50.
---------------
LOTUS NEWS
Sometime this spring, Lotus will take on Microsoft in the
software bundling game with the introduction of SmartSuite. This
package will contain Freelance Graphics, Ami Pro 2, cc:Mail, and an
upgraded 1-2-3/W with new audio training materials and merged
documentation. Suggested price will be $895. The original ship
date was January, then they delayed it until mid-April, but now
it's anybody's guess.
Meanwhile, it looks like Lotus is taking some cues from
Borland. They are planning a performance upgrade for 1-2-3 for
Windows this spring, then another release with built-in groupware
capabilities later in the year.
---------------
LOW-END NETWORK
Microsoft is once again taking a stab at Novell, this time
with a low-end peer-to-peer Windows designed to battle NetWare Lite
and LANtastic.
This is an alternative Windows known as Sparta. It will
include electronic mail, group scheduling capabilities, and a real
time chat feature. Users can designate a directory as sharable and
other users can access files in that subdirectory. The program
only requires 10K to 20K of RAM.
Windows Sparta will work with network adapters that conform to
the Network Device Interface Specification. Sparta will not
replace Windows, but users who want to network their PCs would buy
it instead of Windows 3 or 3.1.
Microsoft also has asked hardware developers to simplify
networking under Windows by building Ethernet and Token Ring into
PC motherboards. Microsoft also discussed the availability of low
cost hub cards and the redesign of printers, modems, and upgrade
kits to help make Windows network-ready.
Availability of Sparta is scheduled for the end of 1992.
---------------
PARADOX 4 COMING SOON
While we're waiting for the Windows version of Paradox,
Borland continues work on the DOS product. Paradox 4 has not yet
gone into beta testing, but will add support for memo fields,
optimized query performance, and event trapping. It will also read
more data formats including DBF files. Query performance will be
boosted by 35%-40% and possibly more in some multiuser situations.
Beta copies should ship soon and the product is expected to
ship by late June.
---------------
QUATTRO PRO 4
This latest version of Borland's Lotus killer is now shipping.
Gone is the mouse menu on the right side of the screen, and it's
been replaced with a Speedbar (similar to Excel). My only
complaint is that you still have to load your mouse driver before
starting the program. I suggest that Borland and others take a cue
from WordPerfect's DOS program (among others) that have mouse
support built in.
Finally included are auditing tools, a part of Quattro Pro
that has suffered in the past.
Particularly impressive are new graphing tools which let you
change the way your data is analyzed without returning to the
spreadsheet and manipulating your data. For example, if you have
a sheet with daily totals entered, you can switch between analyzing
the numbers on a monthly basis, quarterly, weekly, or whatever
without going back to your worksheet and messing with the numbers.
The WYSIWYG tends to extract a price in performance. This was
first noticed on Version 3 and it's better with Version 4. But,
the screen just "looks funny" to me for some reason.
Graphing is good with the addition of something called a
Bubble graph. Who dreams this stuff up?
Borland is finally shipping the software on high density
disks; others please take notice. Of course, Lotus compatibility
seems well done.
As I've said in the past, if you have to use a DOS-based
spreadsheet, go with Quattro Pro.
---------------
PROFESSIONAL TOOLKIT FOR VISUAL BASIC
As you read this, Microsoft should be shipping a set of add-
ons to extend interface control and programming options for Visual
Basic.
Included are support for OLE, multiple document interfaces,
and multimedia and pen interfaces. This stand-alone product will
carry a suggested price of $299, but for a limited time will sell
for an introductory price of $99. It will also be bundled with
Visual Basic for $495 (list price).
Several shrink-wrapped applications developed with Visual
Basic are also going to be released soon, but Microsoft is tight
lipped. Microsoft has already used Visual Basic in internal
development including Project 3.
---------------
NEW AST MULTIPROCESSING BOX
You remember AST? They're the guys who sell proprietary
hardware at outrageous prices.
They've been recently showing off their new MicroFrame, a
multiple processing computer. According to AST, users will be able
to swap RISC and Intel processors as the main CPUs.
They say that this is a machine that will be "support-
intensive" and some sort of reseller rights are being contemplated.
The computer will run up to four processors and include error
correction code, Redundant Arrays of Inexpensive Disks (RAID)
hardware and redundant power supplies.
Initially, AST will release the box using Intel 486-50
processors, and RISC configurations will follow only if the market
demands them (and if more RISC software becomes available).
The processor boards tie into a common 64-bit backplane. Said
a spokesman, "the system is designed around a series of cards.
There is no motherboard." The machine is designed with an EISA I/O
bus that ties into the backplane and includes five SCSI channels.
To permit processor interchangeability, AST is planning to
implement Extended BIOS. The BIOS will initially support SCO MPX
and eventually other multiprocessing operating systems. There are
plans by AST to support Windows NT, since Microsoft is expected to
include multiprocessing technology in that product.
The machine is expected to be available in June with an entry-
level price of about $25,000.
---------------
OS/2 NEWS
Jeez, now I've got to devote a section to OS/2 - where is the
world going?
Anyway, it looks like the shipping version of OS/2 2.0 will be
on 20 disks!! Just to get 1 million copies out the door is going to
take 20 million disks!! I hear that you can expect to see an OS/2
2.1 shortly after the release, hopefully free. The 2.1 release is
expected to feature more condensed code.
IBM will begin electronic distribution of OS/2 2 to customers
and distributors on March 31 with shrink-wrapped retail copies
shipping in the following two weeks.
Windows support will only be on machines with VGA, SVGA and
XGA support will follow later, as will the 32-bit graphics engine
developed by Micrografx. The later update will also feature
support for Windows 3.1. The upgrade is expected to be provided by
IBM this summer in a Corrective Service Diskette (I love these IBM
monikers).
---------------
At the IBM introduction of OS/2 on April 6th (who picked that
date?), Lotus will demonstrate 1-2-3 for OS/2 2.0. They will also
announce their intentions to deliver 32-bit versions of Ami Pro,
Freelance Graphics, and cc:Mail for OS/2 this year along with a 32-
bit Notes for OS/2 scheduled for a year end release.
IBM is also working with Lotus to preload 1-2-3 on PS/2
computers along with the OS/2 operating system (they must have huge
hard drives). (DeScribe is negotiating with IBM on a similar deal
with their 32-bit version of their word processor due out April 1.)
This version of 1-2-3 will feature SmartIcons, the same Solver
as 1-2-3/G, Datalens access to OS/2's database manager, and a draw
layer that lets users annotate and create charts right on the
spreadsheet.
---------------
One of my suppliers has a service where I can call on the
modem and order products. I can also check inventory to see if
something is in stock or get an updated price.
About a week before the release date for Windows 3.1 and OS/2
2.0, I called and checked on stock quantities. Windows 3.1 was
backordered over 14,400 copies and OS/2 was backordered less than
100. Hmmm...
Current OS/2 users will get a free upgrade, Windows users will
pay $49, and DOS upgrades will be $99. Suggested retail price will
be $195.
---------------
MICROSOFT BUYS FOX
You've read about it in the papers and seen interviews on TV
concerning the proposed acquisition by Microsoft of Fox Software.
The outspoken Mr. Gates of Microsoft said that Fox's FoxPro
line of xBase development tools were "the most undermarketed
products in the PC software business".
After news of the proposed acquisition hit the streets,
Borland's stock dropped $7.25 while Microsoft's rose. (On the day
of the announcement, Philippe Kahn said that Borland's new Paradox
products could ship as late as August.)
This has got to be egg on the face to Philippe & Co. and when
asked why Borland didn't buy FoxPro, Dave Fulton (President of Fox)
said, "Borland didn't approach us".
The immediate plans are to drop the Fox corporate name, boost
international sales of FoxPro, and extend the product's presence in
the Macintosh markets.
This puts Microsoft in a strong position in the relational
database market. Users familiar with Fox products say that if
Microsoft takes advantage of FoxPro's fast technology, it could
threaten Borland's database market. Insiders wonder about
Microsoft's coming Windows database product, Cirrus, in light of
Fox's soon to be released FoxPro for Windows.
=================================
DISCLAIMER
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COMPUTER SERVICES and is available on various BBS's, GEnie, and
America Online as well as in ModemNews.
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Opinions expressed are those of the author. Comments should
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Online, phone, analog mail, or whatever method makes you feel good.
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VAPORWARE
by Murphy Sewall
These are rumors folks; we reserve the right to be dead wrong!
Super Bowl Revisited.
Apple's marketing suits want to introduce the next generation of
RISC-based Apple PowerPC's on January 20, 1994. That's the tenth
anniversary of the introduction of the Macintosh with the famous "1984"
Super Bowl commercial. Although the advertising agencies have nearly
two years to try and match that singular commercial, the engineers are
dubious about their part. An actual version of proposed CPU won't be
available until late this year at the earliest. Fine tuning and testing
the Taligent operating system for the new box in under fourteen months
just doesn't seem very likely. - MacWeek 10 February
Windows Compatible. The notion of "IBM compatible" no longer has much
practical meaning. So, this month Microsoft will launch a logo campaign
certifying PCs as "Windows compatible" (one logo for machines that can
run Windows and another for machines sold with Windows pre-installed).
Microsoft and Zif Davis Publishing also are developing a benchmark,
dubbed the "Winstone," to rate how fast Windows runs on a PC. But, will
be possible to calculate Winstone equivalents for Macintoshes and Sun
workstations? - PC Week 3 February
Standard Text Services.
Many computer users find they are using valuable hard drive space on
multiple dictionaries for different word processing, desktop
publishing, and other editing programs. Now more than a dozen
developers including Aldus, Baseline, Claris, Deneba, T/Maker, and Word
Perfect have met to review an Apple events suite that will allow users
to select single spell checker, thesaurus, hyphenation, and grammar
checking packages to use with all applications requiring such text
utilities. - MacWeek 27 January
Compound Documents.
Apple has unveiled a new file formatting standard named "Bento" (a
Japanese term for "boxed lunch"). Bento will let documents contain
different types of data (text, graphics, sounds, tables, and so forth)
tagged so that applications can find and use only the portions they
recognize. - MacWeek 20 January
Penned up.
Although pen-based computers have been greatly touted (see September
1990, April and August 1991, and last January's columns) only a small
number of the products introduced at last Fall's Comdex have shipped.
Bob Owens, director of marketing communications for Poquet, believes
that "the lead time to develop a core of broad-based applications will
probably go into 1993..." - InfoWorld 10 February
Coming Attractions.
January's Demo '92 Conference featured a demonstrations of Lotus's
groupenabling for spreadsheets and a 3-D interface for the Macintosh.
Chronicle by Lotus will be an enhancement to existing spreadsheets
which permits alternative values to ranges (with time and date stamps).
Chronicle simplifies the process of specifying "what-if" scenarios.
Vitrus Vision from North Carolina's Vitrus Corporation permits
Macintosh users to simply create and navigate through three-dimensional
front ends for existing applications. Apple demonstrated a QuickTime
program which can be used with a video camera to create a "virtual
space" and navigate through it. Apple also demonstrated handwriting and
speech recognition tools that are planned as future extensions for
System 7.
New Chip Technology.
Indiumphosphide could be a major advance over Silicon as a basis for
computer chips. Indiumphosphide can be perform the same functions as
Silicon with the added advantages of being faster and also able to
focus laser beams used in optic fiber communications. Currently,
manufacture of Indiumphosphide wafers is not cost competitive with
Silicon, but several research laboratories are at work on the problem.
As usual, American efforts are largely independent while the Japanese
have mounted a nationally coordinated research effort to develop
commercial applications. - CNN Science and Technology Today 1 February
Lightweight.
Apple has been talking to Sharp about incorporating some of the Sharp
Wizard's calendar and phone book technology into its forthcoming
Personal Digital Assistants (see last September's column). The less
than one pound device also is expected to have pen-input and a price
under $600. - PC Week 10 February
Heavyweight.
BitWise Designs is readying a 50 MHz i486 portable with a 1,280 by
1,024 pixel, 21 inch gas plasma display. The 21 by 18 by 7 inch
Excelsior will ship with 8 MByte of RAM (expandable to 32 MByte), four
ISA expansion slots, and a 180 MByte hard disk. At 38 pounds, this
$10,000 to $15,000 device is more luggable than portable. - PC Week 10
February
ACE For Real.
Silicon Graphics intends to begin shipping high end ($28,000 to
$43,000) graphics workstations based on the MIPS R4000 CPU this month.
These workstations will be the first computers built around the RISC
chip selected by the ACE Consortium (see last May's column). Industry
observers expect to see volume shipments of other R4000 workstations in the 60 SPECmark range (roughly 10 to 12 times the power of a Macintosh Quadra or a 50 MHz i486 PC) for under $10,000 by September. - InfoWorld 3 February
Mainframe Windows.
Microsoft and DEC are negotiating over a Windows NT implementation for
DEC's Alpha chip (64-bit RISC processor) which will be the heart of
Digital's forthcoming new systems to replace the aging installed base
of VAX minicomputers. Windows NT for the Alpha series would compete
directly with the ACE Consortium's MIPS R4000 version. Among the
details under consideration is whether DEC would be able to sublicense
the port of Windows NT to Cray Research. Cray has been examining the
Alpha chip among others for a proposed line of massively parallel
processing machines. One tipster swears he's seen a beta of Windows NT running on a Macintosh. - PC Week 20 and 27 January
Windows 3.1
The planned launch date for Microsoft Windows 3.1 is April 6 (see last
months column). - InfoWorld 3 February
The NeXTstep.
NeXTstep 486 (see January's column) is expected in the third quarter
for $995. A $3,495 NeXT Color PostScript Level 2 bubblejet printer
should ship in the second quarter, and NeXT's own version 3.0 is due
before summer. CEO Steve Jobs also announced a new NeXT family built
around the 33 MHz Motorola 68040 CPU. - MacWeek 27 January
Object Oriented Spreadsheet.
Lotus corporation has a complete, object oriented rewrite of it's core
spreadsheet product underway. The current 1-2-3 Windows is essentially
character-based code with a Windows interface. The new product,
codenamed Walden, is described as "graphical to the bone." Among the
key features will be visually oriented scripting, ability to organize
data and objects using a book metaphor, and Chronicle technology (see
above). The target release date is year's end, but knowledgeable
insiders say that Walden is a 1993 (or later) product. However, some
Walden features may appear in a 1-2-3 for Windows upgrade by midsummer.
- PC Week 20 January
Quattro Pro 4.0
Beta testers describe the forthcoming Quattro Pro 4.0 for DOS as an
industrial strength two dimensional spreadsheet. New features include a
customizable button bar and Novell network support. Even so, version
4.0 is not a competitor to Quattro Pro for Windows which features a
three dimensional metaphor. - InfoWorld 27 January
Excel 4.0
Microsoft plans to ship another upgrade to its popular Macintosh
spreadsheet in July. Among the new features will be: a customizable
floating toolbar, drag and drop ranges of cells, spreadsheet workbooks,
an intelligent auto-fill command, and a "scenario manager" for "what
if" comparisons. - PC Week 3 February and MacWeek 10 February
SAS For Windows.
SAS Institute has begun beta testing its entire line of data analysis
and decision support products for Windows. Pricing will start at $895
for a first year license renewable for $395. - PC Week 3 February
Intel Processor Blitz.
Intel plans to introduce 30 new processors by the end of the year. Most
will be variants of the company's 80386 and i486 lines, but two
versions of the next generation i586 (codenamed P5) CPU are due in
sample quantities by late summer. the 586 will contain 3 million
transistors and hum along at 100 MIPS. Intel President and CEO Andrew
Grove expects the introduction of the i586 at the high end will soon
lead to 32-bit 80386 PC's for under $1,000. - PC Week 27 January and
InfoWorld 10 February
System 7 Lite?
Apple's CD-ROM consumer products (see last month's column) will ship
with a new version of System 6 with a Finder that mimics many of System
7's features (aliases, custom icons, expanded Apple menu, and drag and
drop application launching). Office oriented features, such as personal
file sharing and publish and subscribe will not be included. Currently
referred to as the "SE Plus," the under $2,000 system is designed
around the Motorola 68020 CPU. - InfoWorld 20 January and MacWeek 10
February
OS/2 Heavy?
The shrink wrapped (release) version 2.0 of OS/2 will gobble up 25
MBytes of hard disk. A "minimal" version can be squeezed into a svelte
18 MBytes (and Macintosh users complain about how hard it is to make a
bootable System 7 floppy disk). Tom Steele, director of IBM's Personal
Programming Center, has indicated that the March 31 shipping date will
slip if major problems are detected in the remaining beta testing.
Don't look for any third party device drivers though because IBM hasn't
made developer kits available. - InfoWorld 10 and 17 February
IBM Notebook Delayed.
Big Blue postponed the expected 25 February introduction of it's 16 MHz
386SX notebook until the end of March in order to review the machine's
market and price position. One criticism of the notebook is that it's
underpowered relative to the mostly 20 MHz competition. Along with the
notebook, IBM plans to introduce an 11 pound 20 MHz 386SX color laptop.
The company hopes to keep the color model's list price with 4 MBytes of
RAM and an 80 MByte hard drive under $8,000. - PC Week 10 February and InfoWorld 17 February
Wireless Networks.
Motorola is promising to ship the DOS version of its WaveGuide wireless
communications toolkit (see the March 1991 column) by the end of the
winter. The Mac version will ship later this year. - InfoWorld 20
January
Volume Retailing.
Compaq has decided not to field a model to be marketed by mail order,
but remains committed to low-cost desktop and notebook computers. The
outlet for Apple's "consumer products" (see last month's column and
above) seems likely to be Sears. - InfoWorld and MacWeek 3 February
Video Processing in a Mail Order i486.
Dell Computer will begin shipping an i486-based computer with built in
video processing by midyear. The video option will add less than $1,000
to the price of the machines. On site maintenance will be available
nationwide from BancTec Services. - InfoWorld 3 February
New Graphics Packages.
Adobe plans to ship Illustrator 4.0 for Windows in the second quarter.
The Windows version will be compatible with Illustrator files made on
other platforms and include editing in preview mode, context sensitive
help, and enhanced color support. The $695 program, which competes with CorelDraw, will be bundled with Adobe Type Manager, Adobe Type Align, Adobe Separator, 40 typefaces, and a selection of patterns symbols and borders. The upgrade from an earlier Windows version will be $99.
Meanwhile, CorelDraw 3.0 is in beta. The program with improved
presentation capabilities will debut this summer. - InfoWorld 27
January and 17 February
April Macattractions.
The April debut of the Macintosh LC II (aka the LC/30) is old news by
now (see last month's column), but late word is that new software will
be needed for the Apple //e card, and because the card isn't System 7
compatible, the LC's ROM will accept 6.0.8. Apple also will introduce
an 80 MByte hard drive for the PowerBook 140 and 170, and Word Perfect
will ship LetterPerfect for the Macintosh ($199). Even though
LetterPerfect won't have as many features as Mac WordPerfect 2.1, it
will have spell checking, a thesaurus, and be able to wrap text around
graphics. A/UX 3.0 with full System 7 support also will ship in April
(free on CD-ROM to users who purchased A/UX 2.1 after 30 October 1991).
A/UX 4.0 (merged with IBM's AIX) based on the Open Systems Foundation
UNIX kernel is planned for 1993 or '94. - InfoWorld 20 January and
MacWeek 27 January and 17 February
Not Coming Soon.
In May, Apple will finally release an alpha version of the printing
architecture originally described in 1989 (for System 7). The public
won't be able to drop documents onto desktop printer icons until
sometime next year. The new, considerably faster LaserWriter driver
(see last November's column), originally promised for this spring is
delayed until summer. The new driver should be worth the wait; the
Print Manager also is being rewritten to produce PostScript code more
quickly. Performance improvements are alleged to be up to ten times
quicker for PostScript Level 2 printers. The Quadra 950 (33 MHz 68040)
won't ship in April (see last month's column) as originally planned.
Motorola is experiencing terrible yields on the 33 MHz '040 chips.
Even the most recent August introduction date remains in doubt. Some
key members of Claris's MacWrite Pro development team have left
recently. Claris still hopes to release the upgrade originally planned
for last October by midsummer. Apple finall gave key developers a
briefing on its AppleScript (see last December's column) last January.
A user product is still "many months" away. - MacWeek 3 and 10 February
and a note in my electronic mailbox
Solaris Ship Date in Jeopardy.
Industry publications are now confirming this column's report last
November that SunSoft's Solaris 2.0 is "riddled with bugs" that are
unlikely to be fixed in time for its scheduled June shipping date. CEO
Scott McNealy's assertion that the new operating system will ship or
"heads will roll" even sounds like deja vu from the earlier report. The
ship date for the Intel version has already slipped from the first half
of the year until the third quarter. - InfoWorld 17 February
Not Coming At All.
Lotus has decided not to ship the Windows version of Magellan on the
grounds that they don't want to be in the low-end utilities business.
Apparently, the company also is unwilling to sell the program back to
developer Bill Gross. - InfoWorld 17 February
More System 7 Tune-ups.
Apple plans to offer several more system extensions, including OCE -
Open Collaboration Environment, the new print architecture (above),
Mac-PC Exchange (see last month's column), and possibly another bug
fixing "Tune Up" later this year. A major system update (System 7.1?)
won't be released until sometime next year. However, another full
system update (7.0.2?) may be released with Apple's new models in order
to support "CPU update" extensions. - MacWeek 17 February
More PostScript Level 2 Clones.
Pipeline Associates and Destiny Technology have announced they will
join Phoenix Technology (see January's column) in producing Level 2
compatible PostScript interpreters for printers scheduled for
introduction later this year (as early as May). - MacWeek 3 February
New PaintWriter.
Hewlett Packard plans to replace its 180 dpi color inkjet printer with
a 300 dpi PaintWriter next month. The new unit will include PostScript
Level 2. - PC Week 3 February
From the March 1992 APPLE PULP H.U.G.E. Apple Club (E. Hartford) News
Letter $24/year P.O. Box 18027 East Hartford, CT 06118 Call the "Bit
Bucket" (203) 257-9588 Permission granted to redistribute with the
above citationnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn
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TIMELINE
A History of Apple Computer
January 1976
Steve Wozniak (26) is working at Hewlett-Packard and Steve Jobs (21) is
at Atari.
March 1976
Wozniak and Jobs finish work on a preassembled computer circuit board.
It has no keyboard, case, sound or graphics. They call it the Apple I.
April 1976
Wozniak and Jobs form the Apple Computer Company on April Fool's Day.
The Apple I debuts at the Homebrew Computer Club in Palo Alto, California.
May 1976
Jobs sells his VW van and Wozniak sells his Hewlett-Packard
programmable calculator, raising $1,350 to finance ion of the Apple I
boards.
The Byte Shop computer store orders 50 Apple I boards. Jobs leverages
the order to get credit so they can build the machines in Jobs'
parents' garage.
June 1976
Apple retains Regis McKenna Advertising to represent Apple Computer.
July 1976
The Apple I board is released for sale to hobbyists and electronics
enthusiasts at the price of $666.66.
August 1976
Jobs meets venture capitalist Don Valentine through Atari founder Nolan
Bushnell. Valentine will refer Jobs to Mike Markkula, who had
previously managed for Intel Corp. and Fairchild Semiconductor.
November 1976
Apple's first formal business plan sets a goal for sales to grow to
$500 million in ten years. As it turns out, the company will pass that
mark in half the time.
December 1976
Apple I computer boards are sold through 10 retail stores in the U.S.
January 1977
Apple Computer is incorporated by Jobs, Wozniak and their new partner
and chairman, Mike Markkula. In addition to plotting its strategy,
Markkula invests $250,000 in the fledgling enterprise. Additional
financing will come later from a group of venture capitalists that
include Venrock Associates, Arthur Rock and Associates and Capital
Management Corp.
Apple moves from Job's garage to a building on Stevens Creek Boulevard
in Cupertino, California.
February 1977
Markkula asks Michael Scott to accept the position of Apple's
president. Scott becomes a driving force behind Apple during its
fastest growing years.
April 1977
The new Apple II is unveiled at the first West Coast Computer Faire. It
is the first personal computer able to generate color graphics and
includes a keyboard, power supply and attractive case.
At the show Apple rents the largest booth and uses a large projection
screen for demonstrations. Markkula walks the floor, signing up
dealers.
The Apple logo as seen today is designed by Rob Janoff, art director
for Regis McKenna Advertising.
May 1977
Regis McKenna Advertising launches its first ad campaign for Apple.
Although advertising is initially aimed at electronics enthusiasts,
Apple will soon become the first company to advertise personal
computers in consumer magazines.
June 1977
The Apple II is now available to the general public. Fully assembled
and pretested, it includes 4K of standard memory, and comes equipped
with two game paddles and a demo cassette. The price is $1,298.
Customers use their own TV set as a monitor and store programs on audio
cassette recorders.
Monthly orders reach a $1 million annual sales rate.
First Apple shipped to Europe through an independent distributor called
Eurapple.
January 1978
Apple moves into its new headquarters at 10260 Bandley Drive in
Cupertino. Over the years, a campus of Apple office buildings will
spring up around it.
March 1978
Apple introduces various interface cards for connecting to most
printers.
June 1978
Apple's Disk II is introduced at the Consumer Electronics Show. It is
the easiest to use, lowest priced, and fastest minifloppy disk drive
ever offered by a computer manufacturer. It will make possible the
development of serious software. production at first is handled by just
two employees, turning out 30 drives a day.
Apple announces telephone linkup services to Dow Jones and Company for
Apple II users.
December 1978
In only its second year, Apple is one of the fastest growing companies
in America. Sales have increased tenfold, and its dealer network has
grown to over 300.
February 1979
President Mike Scott declares that Apple should set an example for
businesses everywhere, and issues a company-wide mandate: "No more
typewriters."
June 1979
Apple II+ is introduced, available with 48K of memory and a new
auto-start ROM for easier startup and screen editing for $1,195.
Apple Education Foundation is founded. Its goal is to grant complete
Apple systems to schools who wish to develop new classroom soft- ware
and integrate computers into their curriculum.
Apple's first printer, the Silentype, is introduced.
Apple announces a nationwide repair program featuring same-day service.
The first Dealer Council convenes. Designed to get dealer input without
breaking the FTC rules on competition, it will be widely copied by
other manufacturers in the personal computer industry.
August 1979
Apple II Pascal is released.
October 1979
Personal Software, Inc. releases VisiCalc for the Apple II. The
spreadsheet is the first application to make personal computers a
practical tool for people who don't know how to write their own
programs.
The International Apple Core, an independent umbrella organization for
user groups, is formed in San Francisco.
December 1979
Apple introduces a low cost, one-year extended warranty for all Apple
hardware and software.
Apple II sales rate is at 35,000 units, up 400 percent from 1978.
Apple now employs 250 people working out of four buildings.
March 1980
Apple Fortran introduced. Proves to be a catalyst for high-level
technical and educational applications.
June 1980
Regional support centers open in Boston, MA; Charlotte, NC; Irvine, CA;
Carrollton, TX and Toronto, Canada.
July 1980
Apple facilities occupy more than half a million square feet of floor
space in the U.S. and Europe.
Apple opens a manufacturing plant in Carrollton, TX.
September 1980
Apple III announced at the National Computer Conference. With a new
operating system, a built-in disk controller and four peripheral slots
priced at $3,495, the Apple III is the most advanced system in the
company
s history.
Apple opens a plant in Cork, Ireland and a European support
Manufacturing center in Zeist, The Netherlands.
November 1980
Apple II chosen as the network access machine for EDUNET an
international computer network for higher education and research.
December 1980
Apple goes public. Morgan Stanley and Co. and Hambrecht & Quist
underwrite on initial public offering of 4.6 million shares of Apple
common stock at a price of $22 per share. Every share is bought within
minutes of the offering, making this the largest public offering since
Ford went public in 1956.
Apple's employee count breaks 1,000.
Apple Seed announced, a computer literacy program that will provide
elementary and high schools with computer course materials.
Apple's distribution network is the largest in the industry, 800
independent retailers in the U.S. and Canada, plus 1,000 outlets
abroad.
January 1981
R&D budget jumps to $21 million, three times more than the year before.
Apple announces a Loan-To-Own program for employees. Each employee can
borrow an Apple II+ to use at home. After one year, the computer
becomes theirs to keep.
February 1981
Mike Scott authorizes the layoff of 40 employees in an effort to
streamline Apple internal machinery.
Chiat/Day Advertising acquires the Apple account when it acquires Regis
McKenna's advertising operations.
European headquarters open in Paris, France and Slough, England.
March 1981
Top management restructured. Mike Markkula replaces Mike Scott as
president; Steve Jobs succeeds Markkula as chairman; Scott named vice
chairman.
Apple Expo 81 is launched = the company's first national merchandising
roadshow.
April 1981
Accessory products Division formed to handle ion of printers, modems
and other peripherals.
May 1981
Apple Language Card introduced. It allows Apple II users to run
programs in either Pascal, Fortran or Pilot.
IEEE-488 interface card announced. Apple II computers may now be linked
to over 1,400 scientific and technical instruments.
Second offering of 2.6 million shares of common stock is completed.
July 1981
Apple begins to air commercials featuring Dick Cavett as spokesman.
Manufacturing plant opens in Singapore.
August 1981
International Business Machines introduces the IBM Personal Computer.
Apple greets its new competitor with a full-page ad in the Wall Street
Journal with a headline that reads, "Welcome IBM. Seriously."
September 1981
Apple's first mass storage system, the 5MB ProFile hard disk is
introduced, priced at $3,499.
November 1981
There are now about 3,000 Apple dealers worldwide, a third of which are
authorized service centers.
First annual report notes that the Apple II installed base has grown to
well over 300,000; that employees now number about 2,500; and that
Apple has introduced over 40 new software programs this year.
Apple becomes a household name. Surveys show that public awareness rose
from 10 percent to 80 percent in 1981.
January 1982
R&D budget increases 81 percent over last year to $38 million.
More than 100 companies are making personal computers. Apple has an
installed base of more than 650,000 units; 10,000 Apple software
programs offered by more than 1,000 developers; 60 companies producing
Apple II peripherals.
July 1982
Apple Dot Matrix printer introduced for $2,195.
August 1982
Apple announces that U.S. Customs agents will detain and seize all
foreign imitations of the Apple II.
November 1982
A new extended warranty program is announced and dubbed AppleCare.
AppleFest a showplace for more than 5,000 Apple-related items opens
in San Francisco.
December 1982
Apple becomes the first personal computer company to reach $1 billion
annual sales rate. It throws a "Billion Dollar Party" for employees.
Community Affairs office created to award grants to civic groups that
deal with issues such as housing, drug abuse, the environment,
employment, medical research, the arts, youth and the elderly.
Time magazine's "Man of the Year" issue is devoted to "The Year of the
Computer."
January 1983
Apple IIe computer priced at $1,395 and Lisa computer priced at $9,995
introduced as well as several new peripherals.
Apple's European offices and distributors stage major events in 12
cities to launch new products -- London, Paris, Zurich, Munich, Milan,
Stockholm, Amsterdam, Helsinki, Brussels, Tel Aviv, Madrid and Dublin.
February 1983
Apple University founded to provide employee training programs.
April 1983
John Sculley, formerly president of Pepsi-Cola, elected Apple's new
president and CEO.
May 1983
Apple enters the Fortune 500 at number 411 in under five years.
"Kids Can't Wait" program announced. Apple II computers will be given
to about 10,000 California schools by September.
June 1983
The millionth Apple II rolls off the assembly line and is the first of
the computers to be awarded in the "Kids Can't Wait" grant.
July 1983
Apple and General Electric Credit Corp. form the Apple Plan. Customers
who qualify are given a credit card to finance Apple purchases.
September 1983
EVA (Employee Volunteer Action) is created to match the skills of Apple
employees with community needs.
October 1983
Certified/Registered Apple Developer Program created.
November 1983
AppleWorks, an integrated package containing word processing,
spreadsheet, and database applications all in one, is introduced and
will soon become the world's best selling software.
December 1983
Apple III+ computer announced and lists for $2,995.
ImageWriter printer introduced and lists for $675.
Apple sponsors a nationwide Computer Clubs competition for high school
and K-12.
January 1984
Apple landmark "1984" commercial which introduces the Macintosh
personal computer airs during the SuperBowl broad- cast. This is the
only time Apple will run the spot, but over the following weeks it is
replayed by dozens of news and talk shows, making "1984" one of the
most memorable ads in TV history.
Macintosh unveiled at Apple's annual shareholders meeting to be sold
for $2,495.
Apple inserts a 20-page ad for Macintosh in major magazines and sets
new records for readership and recall scores.
Apple University Consortium announced. Twenty-four leading colleges and
universities agree to conduct major development programs with the
Macintosh, and commit $61 million in sales to the project over a three
year period.
A new factory, designed and built for the ion of Manufacturing
Macintosh computers, is opened in Fremont, CA. The facility is one of
the nation
s most automated plants and uses many Japanese manufacturing
methods: robotics, just-in-time materials delivery, a linear assembly
line, and an improved quality of life for workers.
The 300 and 1200 baud Personal Modems are introduced at $299 and $495.
April 1984
Apple IIc, priced at $1,295, introduced at the company's "Apple II
Forever" conference in San Francisco. Two thousand dealers place orders
on the spot for more than 52,000 units -- an industry record.
Development of the Apple III line is discontinued.
Scribe printer, priced at $299, is introduced.
National Accounts program is announced focusing on large volume
purchasers in the Fortune 1000.
May 1984
Apple severs its ties with domestic manufacturer representatives saying
it will build its own sales force to service the dealer network.
Manufacturing facility in Cork, Ireland begins producing Manufacturing
custom-language Macintosh computers for Germany, Italy and the United
Kingdom.
July 1984
Apple is elected to the Consumers Digest Hall of Fame for
responsiveness to consumer needs.
August 1984
Apple IIc receives the 1984 Industrial Design Excellence Award (IDEA)
sponsored by the Industrial Designers Society of America.
September 1984
Macintosh 512K introduced at $3,195. October
Apple Grants department formed, encompassing Education Affairs and
Employee Volunteer Action programs.
November 1984
Apple buys every advertising page in a special post-election issue of
Newsweek. The issue's final, fold-out ad is used to launch "Test Drive
a Macintosh" promotion. About 200,000 people take a Macintosh home for
a free 24-hour trial. Advertising Age magazine names "Test Drive" one
of the 10 best promotions of the year.
Two millionth Apple II sold.
January 1985
Super Bowl XIX: Apple covers Stanford Stadium with Apple- embossed seat
cushions. Also runs a controversial new commercial, titled, "Lemmings."
"The Macintosh Office" campaign is launched at the annual shareholder's
meeting. Program stresses the significance of Apple's new LaserWriter
printer priced at $6,999 and AppleTalk Personal Network priced at $50.
Jobs introduces Apple's goal of connectivity to other personal
computers and declares "detente with IBM."
Apple and Northern Telecom announce an agreement to network Macintosh
computers over telephone lines of digital PBX switches.
Lisa officially renamed the Macintosh XL.
Apple shows up on magazines
best-of-lists for 1984: Sculley is named
"Adman of the Year" by Advertising Age; Macintosh is named "Hardware of
the Year" by Infoworld; and Jobs and Wozniak are named members of the
"Best of the New Generation" by Esquire.
Best quarterly sales ever, but dealer inventories remain high after a
disappointing holiday season. Amid the celebrations, John Sculley warns
that the next few months will be "extremely challenging" for Apple.
February 1985
Jobs and Wozniak receive National Technology Medal from President
Reagan at the White House.
Wozniak resigns to start a new company that will develop products in
the home video area.
March 1985
Apple and 28 independent developers dominate an issue of the Wall
Street Journal with ads promoting "The Macintosh Office."
Apple IIe computers are enhanced with four new higher-performance chips.
The company
s employee count hits all-time high of 5,700.
Manufacturing plants close for one week due to excess inventory.
April 1985
Apple announces a computer training scholarship program for elementary
and secondary school educators.
Over 400,000 Apple IIc computers have been sold in the first year of
production.
Macintosh XL (formerly called Lisa) is dropped from Apple
s line.
ImageWriter II, HD-20 hard disk and Apple Personal Modem introduced.
June 1985
Sculley announces a major reorganization. Work force reduced by 20%
(1,200 employees).Operations are restructured along functional lines,
not lines. Manufacturing facilities are reduced from six to three
plants.
Apple launches European University Consortium at Lund University in
Sweden.
The First quarterly loss in the company's history is reported because
of the cost associated with the reorganization. July
AppleLink telecommunications network goes into service, connecting
Apple employees, dealers, suppliers, developers, and vendors through
electronic mail and information libraries.
Apple's Office of Special Education is created to identify the
computer-related needs of disabled people and assist in the development
of responsive programs.
August 1985
Apple takes a public stand against South African apartheid by
discontinuing its selling activities in South Africa.
Apple's Placement Center created to find new jobs for employees laid
off in the reorganization closes its doors, after successfully placing
90 percent of those who used its services.
September 1985
Steve Jobs resigns to start a new computer company.
November 1985
First Lady Nancy Reagan presents an Apple IIe to the College de Leman
International in Versoix, Switzerland during the Reagan-Gorbachev
summit.
Singapore manufacturing plant receives its country's Manufacturing
National Productivity Award.
Education Advisory Council founded = an opportunity for leading
educators to help guide Apple's products and programs for schools.
December 1985
Apple buys 14 pages of advertising in USA Today, all of which focus on
the Apple IIe and IIc.
(1976 through the present will appear in Issue #40. Stay Tuned!)
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ModemNews Issue #39 - May 1992
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ModemNews is distributed as Shareware at $3.00 per issue. Please help support Shareware authors everywhere.
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ModemNews Magazine is Copyright
1992
The GreenBird Group
116 Dean Street Suite B
Stamford, CT 06902
Voice 203 969.1183
BBS 203 359.2299
Your articles and suggestions are always welcome............
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May 1, 1992
Copyright
1992
the GreenBird Group
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Dear Sir or Madam,
I am writing this letter to tell you a little about myself, my
experiences with Lyme Disease and a new service I am starting for Lyme
Disease Patients. First I will tell you about my experience with Lyme
Disease, then the service.
I think I have had Lyme Disease for 20 years. I got lost in the woods
when I was a child and was practically infested with ticks. My uncle joked
about me having Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever because of the rashes I got
and flu like symptoms.
After that I had all kinds of neurological problems with three
surguries for carpal and tarsal tunnel syndrome. I also experienced
continual problems with arthritis in my ankle and shoulder joints,
constant bouts of fevers of unknown origin and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome.
I also had a problem with my Lymph glands which caused severe abdominal
pain and eventually led to me having my appendix removed because doctors
felt I had chronic appendicitis.
Finally, in July of '90, I lost my vision due to "optic neuritis".
Lots of tests were done to check for MS, Lupus, Viral infection, etc. One
of the tests was for Lyme's but it was negative. (I now understand the
test for Lyme's is only about 60% accurate.) The doctor put me on I.V.
steroids for a week to reduce the swelling in my optic nerves. This did
restore my sight for a short time but within a week I was having seizures,
lost sensation in my legs and was about as week as a puppy. Back in the
hospital for more tests which really didn't find anything conclusive.
Evoked potentials showed some kind of problems with my nervous sytem
but were non-specific. MRI's showed MS like plaques but 2 spinal taps
testing for MS and Lupus proved negative.
Finally, in December of 1990, I chanced upon an article about Lyme
Disease. I asked my doctor to retest. He was willing . The titers were
marginal. He decided to do a test run on antibiotic therapy. It was like a
miracle. My sight has improved dramatically and I have enough strength
to get on with most daily activities. I still have some bad days. I have
been on intravenous antibiotics for about 32 weeks total on and off. I
continue to have recurring symptoms and still struggle with TMJ, Carpal
Tunnel, Chronic Fatigue, and Migrane headaches. Lucky for me my husband
has been very supportive and understanding. He has some trouble with my
constant fatigue because he knows how much energy I have on a good day but
his anger is directed at my disease not me. If it wasn't for him I don't
know how I would have got thru all this. I had a Mediport implanted in
July and this is a real help as I can totally take care of my I.V. myself
and don't need to rely on a nurse coming to the house. It has increased my
independence dramatically.
Anyways, I wanted to share my experiences with others. There are
several support groups in Michigan but they are all at least 2 hrs drive
away and I rarely have the excess energy to make the monthly meeting. I
decided to start an Electronic Bulletin Board Systen or BBS to give myself
and fellow Lymies the opportunity for access to information 24 hrs a day &
7 days a week so that it will be there when we need it as well as when we
have the energy for it.
The Lyme Light BBS went online November 1, 1991. It can be accessed
with a computer and a Modem at (313)774-5038. (300/1200/2400 baud) Set
your communications software for 8 databits, 1 stopbit, No Parity, Echo
Off. There are several message bases and a file section where users can
exchange thoughts, ideas and information. There is even an area where you
can play a game or two and forget about Lyme Disease for a while. If you
have any information you would like to see posted on this Bulletin board
upload it or send it to me:
Anne Bussell
The Lyme Light BBS
14413 Hendricks
Warren,MI 48089
I am trying to get up to date information which I can display and
share with the public.
Amberle Stargazer
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------------------
Shower name corona australids
Date of maximum Mar 16
Rate p/h at maximum
Radiant (1950 coord) 16h20m-48d
Sky position Norma
Velocity km/s
Comments barley above horizon
------------------
Shower name camelopardalids
Date of maximum Mar 22
Rate p/h at maximum
Radiant (1950 coord) 07h50m+68d
Sky position Camelopardalis
Velocity km/s 7
Comments slowest of all(6.8km/s)
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This is the place where you can send us your opinions on just about any item that crosses your mind. We're easy.
Feel free to send us your opinions and missives without fear of retribution. Just send them to us as a simple ASCII text file to:
ModemNews EXPRESS! BBS
203 359.22999999999999999
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The Michaelangelo Fiasco
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May 1 1992
ModemNews EXPRESS! 203 359.2299
This is a list of ModemNews NewsStands. You can always find recent
issues of ModemNews at any of these BBS's and we encourage you to
frequent them as a regular member, or just as a guest.
If for some reason any of these BBS's do NOT have the current issue
available for you, please let us know as soon as possible.
NewsStand SysOps MUST call us once each 30 days to let us know they
are still up and running, and current with our issues. This will
keep this listing as accurate as it can be. Please call before the
15th. You may also leave us notice in our RelayNet Conference.
NewsStand listings that begin with "!" have been put on notice and
may not have the current issue available. They will be deleted from
this list on May 15th unless we hear from their SysOps before
NewsStand listings that begin with "!" have been put on notice and
may not have the current issue available. They will be deleted from
this list on May 15th.th.th.th.th..h.....th..5th.5th...th.th.th.th.th.th.th.th.th.th.th.th.
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The listings below are updated daily as we hear from each NewsStand. We encourage you to call these BBS's. Tell them you saw them listed in ModemNews!
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Dear Readers,
This is our second issue in this new Asymetrix Toolbook format and quite frankly, we like it. It was easy to put together, looks nice, and even though the response has been slow, we expect some time will need to have passed before it really takes off. We are extremely patient. Our only complaint is that there is a 32K limit to the amount of text we can paste into a field. 64K would serve us better. Moreover we would like to bring you sound and animation in this magazine, but will await the powers that be at Asymetrix to have pity on us and lend us a copy of their Multimedia Toolbook for this purpose. Like I said before, we are patient.
We are now using MS Windows v3.1 and Norton Desktop for Windows v2.0 and we are very happy with both. Of course we are getting some new error messages (and a lot more of them!), but is this progress? We'll be loading OS2/2.0 on another machine once IBM decides to send us a copy for our evaluation. We'll use them both and make some decisions in the near future.
Our installation of Windows 3.1 went very smoothly, and unlike our install of a prerelease copy of NDW, the newest version of NDW 2.0 was a breeze and worked flawlessly. It surprises me that after the great success of NDW v1.0 Microsoft still has not mastered the desktop interface.
We hope that you will enjoy this 39th issue of ModemNews Magazine. We work very hard to bring you a fine product, one that will make you want to come back month after month after month after..............................
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"Where Have All the Bad Guys Gone?"
Michael D. Berman
With the collapse of the Soviet Union (destined to become the most
overused phrase of the year), the question must be raised: Where will
the United States turn for an enemy? After all, the USSR had the whole
maleficent package: a frightening, dehumanizing ideology, the world's
largest, fiercest army, and a network of satellites and puppet
governments, all bent on crushing the American Way of Life under their
atheistic, hob-nailed heels. The Soviets gave us threatening phrases
and malefactors for every generation: from "the missiles of October" to
"the evil empire," from Joseph Stalin to Boris Badenov and Natasha.
Even their color was sinister. It evoked rivers of blood, eternal
hellfire, and that traffic signal you ran and got nailed at. Now, in
one fell swoop, all that beautiful wickedness is kaput.
Americans need adversaries. What would the Mission Impossible team
be without maniacal Third World despots? Or the Republican Party
without "welfare recipients"? When Darth Vader bought the farm, this
nation wept. And imagine what poor Tom Clancy is going through. How
will he measure up to "The Hunt For Red October" and "The Cardinal of
the Kremlin" in light of the New World Order? "The Icelandic Scourge"
and "At Dawn, Switzerland!" just won't cut it on the bestseller lists.
Americans demand more.
But all is not lost. There are a host of candidates which might,
with the right mix of paranoia, totalitarianism and xenophobia, fill
the vacuum of evil that came about when the hammer and sickle rusted
away:
o The early returns on the Commonwealth of Independent States
indicate that one or more of these new nations could supplant the
Big Bad Bear. Let us not forget that Uncle Joe Stalin was a
Georgian. The chance that one of the former vassal republics might
belch forth a new and improved dictator is not beyond the realm of
possibility (though, admittedly, it would be difficult to take
someone called the "The Terror of Tajikistan" seriously). The smart
money's on Ukraine, aka, "The Republic With an Attitude"
"Not the
Ukraine. Just Ukraine. Actually, Mister Ukraine to you." All
Ukraine needs is one madman to claim Finders Keepers privileges
with the ICBMs on its soil, and before you know it, Chicken Kiev
will be a four-letter word from sea to shining sea.
Not that Ukraine is the only former Soviet missile parking lot to
worry about. If our Michael Jordan-led Olympic basketball team
starts to run up the score against Kyrgyzstan or Uzbekistan in
Barcelona, don't stick around for the final buzzer. Just head for
the basement and lock the door. The post-game repercussions,
mushroom clouds and all, will make the British soccer riots look
like a thumbwrestling match.
o Even a month ago, the world's terrorist organizations would
have been a pretty safe bets as new embodiments of all things
nasty. But since Hezbollah and Islamic Jihad have set most of
their hostages free, we've lost that hating feeling. However,
Algeria, with its recently elected fundamentalist Islamic
government, might be a dark horse. We'll have to wait and see.
The zealots' ascension is a promising start, but they won't reach
the Soviets' heinousness until they burn some American flags, start
lopping off limbs for parking violations, and get their hands on
some nuclear party favors.
o George Steinbrenner, though not a sovereign nation per se,
displays qualities similar to those of our favorite Soviet
dictators. He has fallen into disfavor and been ousted, but is now
making a push to be "rehabilitated" and brought back into the good
graces of the proletariat. Furthermore, the abysmal production of
the Yankees mirrors that of the Soviet economy.
o Germany is a perennial, as well as sentimental, favorite.
However, Deutscheland seems satisfied simply conquering the world
markets for now, so we can't count on them just yet. But when
Braun shavers start pushing Remington Micro-screens off store
shelves and into the dustbin of history, a new Anschluss won't be
far behind. You read it here first.
o Ditto for Japan. Even worse, Tokyo has "The Godzilla Option."
These are sad days, now that and John and Jane American have a
dearth of bad guys to check under their beds for. It may take a while
for the void to be filled. But fear not. Until the next "evil empire"
comes along, we can comfort ourselves. After all, we'll always have
Nixon to kick around.
Copyright 1992, Michael D. Berman
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Dear Sir or Madam,
I am writing this letter to tell you a little about myself, my
experiences with Lyme Disease and a new service I am starting for Lyme
Disease Patients. First I will tell you about my experience with Lyme
Disease, then the service.
I think I have had Lyme Disease for 20 years. I got lost in the woods
when I was a child and was practically infested with ticks. My uncle joked
about me having Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever because of the rashes I got
and flu like symptoms.
After that I had all kinds of neurological problems with three
surguries for carpal and tarsal tunnel syndrome. I also experienced
continual problems with arthritis in my ankle and shoulder joints,
constant bouts of fevers of unknown origin and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome.
I also had a problem with my Lymph glands which caused severe abdominal
pain and eventually led to me having my appendix removed because doctors
felt I had chronic appendicitis.
Finally, in July of '90, I lost my vision due to "optic neuritis".
Lots of tests were done to check for MS, Lupus, Viral infection, etc. One
of the tests was for Lyme's but it was negative. (I now understand the
test for Lyme's is only about 60% accurate.) The doctor put me on I.V.
steroids for a week to reduce the swelling in my optic nerves. This did
restore my sight for a short time but within a week I was having seizures,
lost sensation in my legs and was about as week as a puppy. Back in the
hospital for more tests which really didn't find anything conclusive.
Evoked potentials showed some kind of problems with my nervous sytem
but were non-specific. MRI's showed MS like plaques but 2 spinal taps
testing for MS and Lupus proved negative.
Finally, in December of 1990, I chanced upon an article about Lyme
Disease. I asked my doctor to retest. He was willing . The titers were
marginal. He decided to do a test run on antibiotic therapy. It was like a
miracle. My sight has improved dramatically and I have enough strength
to get on with most daily activities. I still have some bad days. I have
been on intravenous antibiotics for about 32 weeks total on and off. I
continue to have recurring symptoms and still struggle with TMJ, Carpal
Tunnel, Chronic Fatigue, and Migrane headaches. Lucky for me my husband
has been very supportive and understanding. He has some trouble with my
constant fatigue because he knows how much energy I have on a good day but
his anger is directed at my disease not me. If it wasn't for him I don't
know how I would have got thru all this. I had a Mediport implanted in
July and this is a real help as I can totally take care of my I.V. myself
and don't need to rely on a nurse coming to the house. It has increased my
independence dramatically.
Anyways, I wanted to share my experiences with others. There are
several support groups in Michigan but they are all at least 2 hrs drive
away and I rarely have the excess energy to make the monthly meeting. I
decided to start an Electronic Bulletin Board Systen or BBS to give myself
and fellow Lymies the opportunity for access to information 24 hrs a day &
7 days a week so that it will be there when we need it as well as when we
have the energy for it.
The Lyme Light BBS went online November 1, 1991. It can be accessed
with a computer and a Modem at (313)774-5038. (300/1200/2400 baud) Set
your communications software for 8 databits, 1 stopbit, No Parity, Echo
Off. There are several message bases and a file section where users can
exchange thoughts, ideas and information. There is even an area where you
can play a game or two and forget about Lyme Disease for a while. If you
have any information you would like to see posted on this Bulletin board
upload it or send it to me:
Anne Bussell
The Lyme Light BBS
14413 Hendricks
Warren,MI 48089
I am trying to get up to date information which I can display and
share with the public.
Amberle Stargazer
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And so it goes.....
by Jeff Green
In our last issue I talked about the candidates for President of these
United States. Since then a great deal has happened in this race that
has caused us to sit back and think about the future of America.
It seems as though the Republican Party is going to stick behind a
Bush/Quayle team again in 1992 and the Democrats are resigned to losing another election with Slick Willy at the head. To make things more
interesting H. Ross Perot (a name that should be well known in the
computer industry has decided to spend upwards of $100 Million dollars
of his OWN money to make a race for the Oval Office a reality.
What do I think about these people? I knew you might ask.
George Bush > "I want to be your environmental president." Yeah sure
George. I guess that goes about being the "education" president and the
peace president and the... well, you get the idea.
Bill Clinton > Why are the leaders of the Democratic party in this
nation taking the only chance they have had in a generation to win the
White House and throwing it all away? Beats me... 'nuff said.
H. Ross Perot > This guy is a businessman of the highest regard, and
just as any other successful business his path must be lined with
stepped on and dead bodies galore! talk about skeletons in the closet.
He certainly has some valid opinions about getting America to work
together again. His words of racial harmony are only offset by his
admiration for the tyrannical regime in Singapore, a
military/dictatorship that he feels could be a good example to base our
fight against crime. Dangerous. But that does not bother me more than
his absolute refusal to lay out in detail his plans for the future if
he should become President. He deserves to be watched, and as the
election heats up I think you will see Mr. Perot drop by the sidelines
in fast order. I do not believe that he can withstand the pressures of
a situation (the election) over which he has no control, unless he buys
the press. After all he certainly can afford to do that. Or unless he
gets some good advice, and he can certainly afford that also.
That leaves us in a peculiar position. We want to endorse a candidate
this early so that we have time to make certain that come November 3rd,
our candidate will win the election, and so we have.
After looking carefully at all the candidates that are officially in
this election (more than 60) we have found one that is the ideal of all
good thinking Americans. A candidate that takes responsibility for his
own actions. One that is stable in body and mind, and one who has a
track record that can only be called exemplary. That candidate is Eric
Bird.
Eric Bird is our dog. He's a 12 year old Rot mix. He has never growled
at another living thing. Loves children, small animals and birds, and
has not been known to chase a cat in many years (though he has
occasionally been known to go skunk and raccoon hunting from time to
time.) talk about stability? Leave him on the couch when you leave for
work in the morning and he's still there when you come home that night.
That my friends is stability.
Eric has a platform that is rather simple. A cookie in every hand and
two car rides every weekend. What could be simpler. He believes that we
should stop building bombs and teach everyone some simple tricks with
all that leftover money. Eric mentioned the other day just how
wonderful it would be if everyone would just give everyone else licks
and snacks several times a day, and don't forget lots of hugs. What a
wonderful world that would be. And frankly, we must agree with him.
Of course Eric cannot run alone. His running mate on the ticket would
be Fritz Bukowski, our neighbors cat. Eric and Fritz have been close
friends for more than 6 years, and in Eric's opinion if a dog and a cat
can be friends, why not the rest of us.
There are certainly some lessons to be learned here, and we would hope
that at every opportunity we hope you would write in Eric Bird and
Fritz Bukowski on the ballot at every chance you get, especially on
November 3rd.
Just think of the advantages. On January 20th the Presidential Inaugural
address would be short! Bills sent to him from Congress that he didn't
like would be...well, let's just say that they'd just lay around for a
while. Those he liked he would eat! Fritz would be the purrfect Vice
President. Not much to do in that job and Fritz would spend his time
out in the Rose Garden chasing mice and not embarrassing the President
with stupid human tricks as our present VP is known so well for.
Eric would also be the perfect ambassador. Can't you just imagine
foreign Heads of States visiting with Eric and taking pleasant walks at
Camp David. And don't forget, Eric LIKES broccoli. What more can we ask
Therefore, Eric Bird and Fritz Bukowski are our choice for the White
House and we will push for their election during the next few months.
It is clear to us that George Bush and Bill Clinton and Ross Perot
should all just go on vacation since the simply do not stand a chance
against Eric and Fritz.
Vote Bird/Bukowski in '92!
Jeff Greenn
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The Michelangelo Fiascoo
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X Michelangelo Fiasco:
an historical timeline
Copyright 1992 by Rob Rosenberger; all rights reserved. Some quotes obtained from copyrighted stories published by the Associated Press, United Press International, Reuters News Service, and Washington Post.
Contact Rob Rosenberger at
P.O. Box 643,
O'Fallon, IL 62269.
This copy printed on 3/18/92.
1/28/92 Newswire reports say Leading Edge shipped up to 500 computers in
December with the Michelangelo virus. It apparently came from a
third-party subcontractor; an alert customer detected it.
1/28/92 Osicom Technologies announces it will bundle an antivirus package
with all personal computers.
1/29/92 UPI reporter Jack Lesar files a newswire saying "the Michelangelo
Virus could erase data from hard disks of hundreds of thousands of
computers around the world on Michelangelo's birthday, March 6."
Winn Schwartau, executive director of the Nashville-based
International Partnership Against Computer Terrorism, attributes
magical powers to the virus: "`It's usually been a rule that a
virus can't be propagated by just reading from a data disk. But in
this case it appears to no longer be true,' said Schwartau. `You
may consciously just be reviewing data, not moving data, but the
virus is hidden and executable and it's doing its thing.'"
Interestingly, the report continues: "[John] McAfee said the
Michelangelo Virus is the third most common in terms of reports of
infection. It accounts for 14 percent of infection reports -- a
total of about 6,000 last year. And he notes the figure represents
the number of sites at which infection has been reported -- each of
which may have one machine, or 100."
2/3/92 Newswire reports say Da Vinci Systems distributed about 900 disks
infected with the Michelangelo virus during January.
2/11/92 Reuters reporter Wilson da Silva files the first newswire saying
the Michelangelo virus resides on "millions of personal computers
around the world." The estimate -- five million worldwide -- comes
from John McAfee. In the story, researcher Wayne Boxall of
Australia's Computer Virus Information Group erroneously states the
virus spreads via computer bulletin boards.
2/13/92 Microcom announces it has released a free program to disinfect the
Michelangelo virus. The program also detects (but does not
disinfect) 668 other viruses.
2/17/92 Washington Post reporter John Burgess writes a Michelangelo story
questioning gigantic estimates and the role of people who made
those claims. "It remains unclear whether large numbers of
computers contain undetected copies of the virus, though estimates
of millions of machines have been published in the news media...
Past scares about viruses often have proven to be overblown.
"`I'm finding virus catastrophes everywhere,' said Martin Tibor,
a data recovery consultant in San Rafael, Calif., whose repeated
calls to the media after the Leading Edge incident helped publicize
Michelangelo. `These things are replicating like crazy.'
"Consultant Tibor conceded that the calls he made to the media
about Michelangelo were in part motivated by hopes of bringing
business his way -- it in fact brought in only one client, he said.
But his main motivation, Tibor said, was to get the word out about
a serious computer danger. `I see the victims of viruses all the
time,' he said."
2/18/92 Leading Edge announces it will provide free antivirus software with
its entire line of computers. "Because of the increasing number of
computer virus outbreaks throughout the industry, no one should
assume that software they acquire will be free from infection,"
claims president Albert J. Agbay.
2/19/92 Symantec announces it has released a free program to disinfect the
Michelangelo virus. Symantec's software searches for no other
viruses (though it pretends to), unlike Microcom's free program
which detects 669 different infections. Symantec also purchases a
full-page ad in Computerworld's 2/24 issue to warn readers about
the virus.
2/21/92 Chris Torchia files an AP newswire describing how Michelangelo
"could send millions of computer users around the world through the
ceiling." Tori Case, product manager for Central Point Software (a
McAfee competitor), claims as many as five million computers
worldwide may suffer, including 500,000 in the United States.
2/24/92 The artist Michelangelo would have turned either 516 or 517 years
old this March -- newswires no longer agree on his age.
2/24/92 Computer columnist Lawrence Magid offers dangerous advice when he
tells readers they can avoid Michelangelo's devastating effects if
they activate a computer "on March 5 and leave it running until
March 7." Magid claims viruses travel by computer bulletin board,
then oddly advises readers to download antivirus software from a
bulletin board.
2/28/92 An executive with Fuji's floppy disk division makes the newswires
by offering advice on how to detect Michelangelo.
2/28/92 Egghead offers to ship a copy of "the special `Norton AntiVirus
Michelangelo Edition' for just $4.99." They also offer to send "a
free brochure about computer viruses," but some customers will
complain it arrived more than a week after the Michelangelo threat
had passed.
3/2/92 John McAfee, after previously claiming five million computers have
Michelangelo, appears on the "Today" show and says "there are over
a million systems infected now." McAfee doesn't use the word
"estimate," though he may have meant to.
3/2/92 Intel Corp. ceases shipment of its LANSpool program after
discovering 839 packages carried Michelangelo. "Basically, we were
using anti-virus software that could not detect the latest
generation of the virus," said spokesman Mark Christensen.
Ironically, the company will send a free copy of its $995
LANProtect software to anyone who received an infected LANSpool
package.
3/2/92 AP writer Laura Myers files a story authoritatively stating
Michelangelo "lies dormant in an estimated 5 million IBM-compatible
personal computers worldwide." The story incudes quotes from John
McAfee & Martin Tibor.
3/2/92 Computer columnist Lawrence Magid clarifies his advice to leave
computers on through March 7 so as to avoid Michelangelo's
devastating effects. "This will work in most cases, but if there
is a power failure, many personal computers will automatically
reboot themselves. Thus, a power failure on March 6 would have the
same effect as turning on the computer."
3/2/92 ABC's Ted Koppel devotes a "Nightline" episode to Michelangelo with
a lead-in announcement of how it "could be devastating, destroying
the memories of millions of computers around the world... I just
wanted you to understand I'm coming at [this broadcast] with a
wealth of ignorance." John McAfee, Patricia Hoffman, and Martin
Tibor contribute to the lead-in story, with Tibor ominously stating
"[viruses are] the equivalent of doing germ warfare in your own
neighborhood."
3/3/92 A Reuters reporter files another erroneous newswire claiming
Michelangelo spreads via computer bulletin boards.
3/3/92 "Good Morning America" science editor Michael Gillan claims "as
viruses go, there aren't that many reported incidents [of
Michelangelo]...but there is an enormous fear factor."
Unfortunately, he advises viewers to leave computers running from
March 5 to March 7, following in the dangerous footsteps of
computer columnist Lawrence Magid.
3/3/92 Reuters reports Intel stock has dropped $0.50 below its $65.75
close from the day before. "While Intel is to unveil new versions
of its most powerful computer chips later today -- the 486 DX2
microprocessor -- dealers said the shares eased on news Intel had
ceased shipment of its LANSpool 3.01 print server utility because
some units were found to be infected with the `Michelangelo'
virus."
3/3/92 Another Reuters report about the Michelangelo virus mistakenly
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